I am genuinely proud to be showcasing this special interview—and it’s not just because this is the 36th interview I’ve conducted ;-)
No, rather it is because of its personal nature. You’re going to get a different look at the life of a famous internet hotwife, Rebecca from RebeccasOffice.com (whom I interviewed previously here) before she was ever a hotwife. You’re going to get to know things about her that go all the way back to when she was just a conservative college girl who was raised by very religious parents (the “sex is only for pro-creation” type) who also happened to fall on the intolerant side of racism. And you’re going to get to know her through the eyes of her “kinda cuckold” now ex-husband.
Why do I say kinda-cuckold? Because as you’ll see, he and Rebecca’s journey, which resembled a cuckold relationship, was more about her than it was him. It’s one of the most poignantly quintessential examples of compersion I’ve ever seen. To those on the outside, it could have been labeled a cuckold relationship, but in reality, it was a hotwife journey that was solely about Rebecca’s self-exploration and blossoming into a genuine hotwife, even when it meant their mutual decision to end their marriage.
Walk with me as we take a trip which starts down memory lane. On this trip we’ll explore the story of how a relationship between a young inhibited girl and a man who to this day doesn’t describe himself as a cuckold, morphed into one where she became a jet-setting bbc-loving gangbanging hotwife MILF of the porn-world. Together they grew, individually and as a couple, she discovering and claiming who she really is, and he never wavering in his support of her. Our journey takes us to the present, where we find out the why they mutually decided to end their marriage—without regret.
Gentlemen (and ladies), I give you the ex-husband of Rebecca from Rebeccasoffice.com
Q: When did you first realize you had a cuckolding/hotwifing fetish?
A: Well I never really called it cuckolding or gave it a name. When I first heard the name cuckold, I did not like it. I thought it meant more like it was meant to demean the husband. That was never the case for me. For me it was always just about “sharing” my wife with others.
I met the husbands of Holly Wetlove and Gabrielle Santini online early on around 1998 in an AOL chatroom for “Husbands Sharing Wives” and they told me that they also liked sharing their spouses with others. So I guess hotwifing is when your wife really just desires sleeping with lots of other men? It wasn’t til later when we started her website that when people continued to describe us that I learned cuckold simply meant someone who had a wife that slept with other men.
So I guess the first time I met Rebecca in college in the early 1990s is when I really knew I would enjoy seeing her filled with cock and craving it. She was dating a guy in our frat and we had this room where you could secretly watch girls having sex with guys in the frat. I remember this guy who was half black and on the football team was dating her. I didn’t see, but what I heard was that he had her clothes off and they were having a heavy make-out session and he was kissing her breasts, but when it came to sex, she pushed him away twice and told him she was not the kind of girl. My frat brothers made lots of jokes about it.
The truth was that she was this upper class girl from a really wealthy and conservative community and knew that although her parents were okay with her being friends with men of color that her parents would never approve of her dating or marrying a guy of color. So here was this gal that I knew was attracted to men of color, but would never end up with one. I knew that I was definitely the guy her parents wanted her to be with, but not the one she would choose on her own.
As we dated, we often talked about our past dates and she did admit she liked men of color but it would never have worked. I think in the back of my mind I wanted to make sure that she would be able to at least get a taste of the men she wanted to try and not just the ones her parents thought would be good for her.
Q: Why do you think you enjoy being a cuckold? Or maybe you don’t enjoy it? Which is it? And how does it make you feel?
A: I guess it is because I never have been jealous and that I have always believed that seeing a woman pleasured is the best thing in the world. So I do enjoy being a cuckold in that I do enjoy having my woman fulfilled by men other than me as long as she is enjoying herself. I’m not possessive. I might marry a woman but it doesn’t mean I own her.
I love an independent woman who expresses what she wants when it comes to all things and if the woman I am with expresses that she wants something else or I can sense that she wants it, I will help her get it. There is nothing more gratifying than the woman you care about saying thank you for making her sexual fantasies come true. For Rebecca she always told me that if it wasn’t for me that she would have had a boring marriage and never met the wonderful people with whom she had her sexual fantasies discovered and fulfilled.
Q: Rebecca mentioned the significant role you played in getting her to try this lifestyle out. How did you finally get her to come around and what was that process like?
A: This did not happen overnight. Although I always harbored the thought of wanting to see her fulfilled by other men (especially men that she dated but never had sex with), I never pushed it. From that day I heard about the frat incident until the day I really started trying, it took 5 years before I married her and broke her virginal cherry and another 5 years of marriage before the plan really got rolling. Sure we talked from time to time about the guys she had almost had sex with before we met, but she grew up in a household where sex was only about procreation.
After the 5 years of marriage I did sense that as our careers grew and we moved to the West Coast that something was missing. She was a little depressed emotionally and that translated to her own lack of self-image. I tried to tell her that she was still hot, but she didn’t believe me since all men tell their wives that they are beautiful. I told her the beauty of the internet was that I could share her picture anonymously with lots of people and get feedback. At first I did as she said and hid her face, but then showed her face. She, of course, got great feedback.
The main feedback was, “Dude, your wife is hot. I’d definitely fuck her. Do you have any naked photos of her? Here is a photo of me”. She was reluctant to take naked photos but she did get turned on by the whole idea. She even started chatting on AIM with lots of guys. After she chatted with these guys she would be so horny and we’d talk about it. I took some naked photos in sexy lingerie to make her feel sexy and although I promised they’d be just for me, I did start sharing them with the guys she chatted with.
But she moved slowly and after I got her permission to share her sexy photos online we took the advice of other couples online and decided to create a website where the photos would have to be purchased and hopefully the photos would be kept from kids. That is how RebeccasOffice.com was born. She wanted more guys to see her and this was boosting her ego.
Also, one of the people we talked to at the time was a woman named Christina Noir. Christina asked us to join her on a swinger’s site. Within 24 hours we were invited to 2 swinger parties within a mile of our home. The parties were crazy and we just watched and she did not play. In fact, she was creeped out by a lot of the guys.
Eventually we settled on swapping with a few couples on a regular basis. They were just regular suburban couples that were looking for something to spice up their marriages. We did this for about 2 years when one of the guys she had been chatting with became frustrated.
She had been introduced to him by Jackie from MyHotWife. I knew Rebecca was most curious about him and that we actually had lots of friends in common. I also knew that the guys she had met through swinging were not exactly her cup of tea. So in December of 2003 I contacted “Mark” and said we needed to give Rebecca a surprise birthday present. I told him the hotel we’d be at for an office party and made sure Rebecca had a lot to drink so her inhibitions would be low.
About 15 minutes before he arrived, I told her he was coming. She was mad at first, but I knew it was now or never. It was the best decision ever. Mark was a smart college-educated engineer with a Master’s degree and a great job. At 6’3” and about 230 lbs and a muscular body, he was everything she wanted, and I should mention that he is black. She has a video on her site of that night and in less than 5 minutes after they hugged, his cock was in her mouth.
That night she figured it all out. Real swinging was not what she wanted. She didn’t care what I was doing. She just wanted a hunk that could satisfy her urges and fuck her with the passion of a lover, not a husband. At the same time, I never heard her have orgasms or talk dirty like she did that night. I had never seen her fuck like that either. I could barely watch it. She was so loud you could hear her screaming in the hotel hallways. In fact, they were so intimate and involved in themselves, I went downstairs and left them alone to have a drink in the bar for an hour or so.
They had 2 years of catching up to do! They spent 2-3 hours together that night before he had to go home, but they arranged to meet again the next day alone for about 4 hours in a hotel. I was not invited.
So, it was a long process. 12 years from the first time I met her. But it was well worth it and I don’t regret anything other than I wish we could have got her started earlier!
Q: What was your experience like transitioning from this just being a fantasy to having it actually happen in reality? What hesitations/reservations did you have? How did you overcome or manage them?
A: They say to be careful what you wish for, but once she and I had a taste of what she needed, we were off and running. I think we both found it to be better than either of us had expected. Everything got better once people realized she was willing to play alone. A lot of single studs in the swinging world started contacting her. Lots of male porn stars started contacting her as well.
The hesitations and reservations were all the same. What if people find out? What about STDs? Was she safe and were these guys safe? Suddenly she was in situations that were larger than life fantasies. She was off to Vegas on her own to do videos and photo shoots. She would go to parties and fuck 12 strangers in an evening. She didn’t want me along as she felt uncomfortable with me standing around. She had a couple situations where guys got too clingy and wanted her to leave me for them. She told them she couldn’t.
Honestly she wasn’t ready for all that. What I think surprised me is how she loved being taken by these men. She was more of a sexaholic than I ever imagined and she was a louder lover. She did things she never would have imagined liked gang bangs and anal and she never hesitated. I remember one early time we went to a club where wives were given to studs. I watched her dancing with a bunch of people and then she told me we were going to go to an after-party at a nearby motel. She immediately got in a stranger’s car with 2 other men and I just followed.
I later found out she was giving blowjobs in the back seat and that she fucked one guy on the highway. When she got to the room I had been nervously waiting for 25 minutes and she came in with her blouse wide open and 2 guys carrying her right to the bed. She became a whole different woman. With Rebecca she definitely lived two lives and her social calendar got very full.
Q: Do you enjoy the subservient/humiliating/submissive aspects to being a cuckold, or would you say Rebecca taught you how to enjoy them? Or maybe you never really enjoyed them but Rebecca’s dominance taught you how to enjoy them? Or maybe you never really enjoyed them, but Rebecca’s dominance became too much to control?
A: While I understand those aspects, they are not, nor have they ever been a part of our relationship. In fact, it is because of those characteristics that I think she and I always denied that we were in a cuckold relationship. If those aspects are needed to be considered in a cuckold relationship, then that is not what we are/were. I get it though. It just was never part our deal. We never flat out denied it. If people wanted to have their fantasy that she was humiliating or mocking me, then we just let it slide. That is someone else’s fantasy. It just wasn’t our thing.
I know that sometimes fans or lovers would ask, “Is he bigger or better than your husband?” She would always say yes, but that was not what she was about. It wasn’t about comparing. Rebecca always had a desire and a craving of new things and has always been an “out-of-the-box” thinker. She was never going to be satisfied with the status quo. She did not want the boring marriage her parents had. “Romantic sex” was never going to be enough and I knew it.
Rebecca wanted “recreational sex” of all types and it was something I was never going to fulfill for her, or do “with her”. Her sexual desire as long as she had time to enjoy it, was always hers. She is an independent woman who gets what she wants in any aspect of her life and if I don’t want to do it, she’ll still do it. If she wanted to see a movie that I didn’t, she went ahead and saw it herself. If she felt like she wanted to perform in a porn or travel to Vegas alone for a gang bang, then that was her choice, not mine. I always supported her desires.
**Q: You and Rebecca are no longer together. As most men know, that outcome is usually the result of a long process leading up to the event of divorce/separation. What was the process like in this case? Why did it end? Whose idea was it?**
A: Well somewhere along the way we knew she was being emotionally and physically satisfied through a process that really had nothing to do with me. We rarely had sex together if at all. Her sex with other men 3-5 times a week with her lovers barely left her any time with me, and when she was with me, we had other responsibilities which took up our time.
At one point in 2005 there was a time when on a weekend sexcapade that a guy proposed to her that she leave and she move with him to Washington. She barely knew him, but it really caused us to have a long discussion about if we would be together forever. We agreed that under no circumstances would we leave each other without the other’s consent and that ideally, we would each have a new partner that would replace our relationship. Based upon our life we actually had targeted around 2019 to fully move out if that happened.
At the time she was really getting close to a couple lovers and I did not have anyone. That did not matter to me. I have seen many people in my life where I wondered why they were together and felt like I was in a much more caring and responsible relationship. Eventually, I met someone else, and over the past 4 years have discovered things that I thought I didn’t miss, but do miss in a romantic relationship. In fact, it was Rebecca who suggested that I seek someone else. I always said that she felt guilty being the only one going out. Honestly, I had enjoyed not having a burden of a sexual relationship and wasn’t sure I wanted or needed someone.
Eventually, we each both started hanging around more publicly with our new interests and some people in our lives noticed these new people on our personal social media pages or when we were out at clubs, dinner or movies with our partners, but not with each other.
This has been a mutual process, but in the end I think that to be fair to our lovers, we needed to make arrangements to spend the full night with the new people in our lives. It was becoming too difficult to live a third life. I found it hard to sleep with my partner and then go home to sleep next to Rebecca and then wake up to Rebecca in the morning. Every morning I was opening my eyes and wondering where I was. It just made no sense to share a bed anymore with a woman that I hadn’t had sex with in 4 years.
Q: Do you have any regrets about living this lifestyle with Rebecca?
A: Hmm. Sort of yes. But if we had not lived this way, neither of us would have met our new partners. I love this new woman. I thought I loved Rebecca more than anyone such that I would have done anything for her happiness, but I love my new partner more than I could ever express. She understands what I need more than Rebecca does at this point in my life. I think in much the same way, Rebecca’s lovers are better able to satisfy her than I ever was.
The only regrets I have are for those who are affected and hurt or feel like we deceived them. But in the end, I think they will all see how happy we are with the new lives we are creating, just not with each other. In that, I believe Rebecca and I have a vested interest in hoping that we both have found great new partners.
Q: Was your fantasy of being a cuckold tied to Rebecca only, or do you continue to explore (or plan to explore) this lifestyle with other women?
A: First of all, women are complicated animals. My current lover is the only person I will ever need. If she doesn’t work out I will not pursue another relationship. I cherish my independence.
Now the answer to this question is complicated and I am still sorting through this. It was never a fantasy. It was always a by-product. I wanted her to be happy and thus letting her have sex with other men made her happy. I loved her so much to let her do this and believed it was what she needed. I did enjoy seeing her have sex but can honestly say I never watched a whole video or stayed for her full sexual actions. The idea was a turn on, but the actual action was not. I found that being turned on was a coping mechanism for me to justify why I let her sleep with other men in the first place.
I admit that after so many years, I met a woman that is in the industry and I never would have met if it wasn’t for my lifestyle and Rebecca. She has also been in the lifestyle but once we found each other, we both realized each of us wanted a more simple lifestyle. Because I had lived with many years of Rebecca, she knew that I understood her background. Many women like her or Rebecca wonder if they can ever have a regular relationship again (remember that if you get deep into a cuckolding relationship). My new girl wants me to love her like a normal woman and I aim to do that. If that is what makes her happy and it does not involve cuckolding, then I guess I don’t need it.
Q: Now that you two aren’t together anymore, do you still derive pleasure from seeing Rebecca with her lovers?
A: I enjoy it in a different way. I enjoy it knowing that I helped her to find out what she needed to be fulfilled. I also do find some satisfaction in seeing her pleasure given that her racist parents are just totally dumbfounded. How could their beautiful daughter leave her great life for a “man of color”. They don’t fathom that her life is richer in so many different ways.
So yes, I still derive satisfaction, but not sexual pleasure because I never really did in that way.
Q: Does your family (relatives, parents, etc) know about Rebecca’s hotwife lifestyle? If so, what do they say?
A: They know about our new partners, but they assume they are just normal relationships. I am pretty sure that although they put on a good face that her family is pretty astonished. We’ve had many friends and acquaintances who knew we were seeing other people, so that is not new. I have good friends who say that they have never seen me so happy.
Q: If you could go back and find a way to explore this fantasy without it playing a role in your separation/divorce with Rebecca, would you? What things would you do differently that maybe would have prevented your relationship from ending?
A: No. It has been great and we have made so many friends. We’ve known each other for about 3 decades and that is way longer than most people are married. We used to say that this saved our marriage and made it last longer. The national average length of a marriage in the US is only 8.2 years! Maybe more people should do what we did? It forces you to communicate honestly with each other and work closer together. I guess all marriages should end at some point either through death or because people are unhappy together.
I consider our relationship not to be over. We will always be friends. Just not lovers. I guess the only thing we could have done differently is to never have been married. Maybe if Rebecca wanted to stop seeing her men, then we’d still be together. We had conversations about that at one time, but I think she did and still does love it more than ever.
Q: How would you explain the appeal of what most men essentially see as being emasculated?
A: Because that is not me, I can only guess and play psychologist. Maybe there are men out there who have this “Oedipus” complex in which they loved their mothers who were in control of their lives. They want to be told what to do and why so that they know they are being cared for.
Maybe these guys don’t want the responsibility for their marriage? Maybe they are not able to keep up with the sexual urges of their wives.
It is interesting that most cuckold relationships involve women having relations with the “stereotypical well-hung black man”. I can see how many men might feel emasculated when they see their spouse taken by a black man and compare themselves physically. I have had a few women tell me that they believe that I am more than well-equipped to pleasure them. But for Rebecca, I could never make love to Rebecca the way a younger black man/men could. My stamina, the physicality, and most importantly the ‘out of wedlock’ sex were things I could never be. I couldn’t be black, yellow, or brown. I couldn’t be 2,3, or 4 men at once. Her sexual happiness would have been more than any one man could have achieved. Every man would have felt emasculated in that case.
You see, in a way, I was not emasculated, but rather emboldened with Rebecca. I helped in turning a proper virgin and well-to-do upper class educated woman into a sex-craving kinky, whore, slut (Sorry Rebecca, I don’t mean to demean your sexual lifestyle) who loves to spread her legs and feel huge cocks pleasure her loins. To help her realize her pleasures makes me feel like a king who gave his queen her own kingdom. Her family would never have enforced those values within her, but I did. Many men even say how lucky I was to have a hotwife and also the ability to go out and sleep with other women all with her permission.
I’d like to thank Rebecca’s ex-husband for giving us this special look into his own life and mind, Rebecca’s past, their journey together, and their present-day situations. Although their story isn’t necessarily a very typical one to be lived out by many others, it shows just how easily it could be lived out by others, especially as neither one of them foresaw how it would all unfold once they took the plunge. I hope you found this interview not only exciting but useful as well, as a lot can be learned from it.
If you take away anything, I hope you take away the fact that the risk to explore your fantasy can be worth it beyond your wildest dreams. We have but one life, so to live it with courage, congruence, and passion is far better than living with hesitance, uncertainty, and doubt. I encourage you to embrace your dreams and your fantasy, and use the resources on this site to help you do so.
Last but not least, if you want to know what Rebecca is up to today (after all, she’s still an active and sexy hotwife), be sure to check out her Twitter ( https://twitter.com/RebeccasOffice ) and her website ( RebeccasOffice.com ).
P.S. Below you can find a higher resolution photo of the personal wedding photo provided by Rebecca’s ex and (his facial alteration by Rebecca herself). Enjoy!