“I don’t think I could ever do that.” Those were the words of the happy housewife turned vixen hotwife (she goes by “N”) of the Tumblr couple StagFtoHotwifeN…until she wound up having sex with a dad from their children’s school.
In this interview, we’ll take a deeper look at how it all progressed for them since the summer of 2016, as that was when it all began. They also share some thoughts the Stag & Vixen lifestyle in general, pushing boundaries, and keeping their relationship the priority on this adventure they’re both enjoying.
And I think everyone will find the Stag “F’s” perspective on eating cum very interesting….
Q: Can you tell us a little bit about how your wife’s interest in the hotwife lifestyle came to be? Was she resistant at first?
A: A short time after N and I had met each other for the first time I felt the need to be completely honest and open towards N about who I was, and what excited me. When it comes to the regular things in life that’s quite easy most of the time, but when it comes down to your deepest longings on the subject of sex it’s another story. N and I had both decided to leave our then current partners so that we could be together. We were both married, and both have kids. That’s probably the main reason that I felt that urge to tell her everything about me. There could be no secrets, because I had never met a woman before that felt so completely my destiny.
So therefore I also told her about my interest in cuckolding/sharing her… I also told her that I could not really relate to the humiliation part in cuckolding. She just had to know that about me, and I remember that I was very, very scared that she would leave me on the spot.
She did not… And she didn’t condemn me for it! She had very clear reservations, doubts and questions… But she didn’t close the door either. She said something like ‘I don’t think it’s for me, it is not in my fantasies, and I don’t think I could ever do that. But I’ll have an open mind and when in the future it may become an option for me than we’ll see things from there….’. That was fair enough, and I don’t think I have ever pushed her to take the plunge.
Every now and then the subject just would emerge, and her point of view was the same and that was it for quite a long time…. Then suddenly something happened.
We had been swimming at a swimming pool nearby with our kids and during that afternoon a guy eye-fucked N properly. N didn’t notice at that moment, and I told her that night. One thing let to another and we ended up having sex while she was whispering the roleplay ‘You like this? To fuck me knowing another guy was inside just a little while ago? That his cum is still there?’ …
That kind of roleplay (which we still like a lot!!!) lasted a couple of months, and then one night she suddenly asked that this role playing was all fine and exciting, but that she just couldn’t picture the way how we could ever make something like that happen for real.
I was delighted… It was her first open sign of really being interested. A couple of days after that I told her that if she really wanted to fuck another guy, than I would be really fine with that and I was convinced that I could handle it. The day after that she started sexting a guy that she had met on the internet just before getting to know me…
And then she started casually flirting with other men. That was soon resulting in her fucking a dad from school…. N finally had become a hotwife.
Quite soon after that she fucked one of our neighbours whom she had physically fancied for quite some time. She congratulated him on his birthday with a text message and told him to come get his present in one of the coming days… He couldn’t wait, haha!
Only last week on our summer holiday N has had her third lover. We ‘met’ him on Tumblr, and the match was perfect when we met in person. It was great talking to someone who is into this lifestyle as well, and on top of that has a very nice character and is very eloquent. We sure hope to see him more often in the future, he’s a very cool guy.
Q: You mention in your profile header that you had a previous Tumblr account which you ended about a year ago. How come, what happened, and what made you decide to come back?
A: Purely based on a feeling that it got out of hand, or maybe rather going into a direction that wasn’t us. At that time we found ourselves increasingly occupied by erotic things and encounters on Tumblr. And not all of that was related to the hotwife and stag lifestyle. Because of that we had some negative feelings about how things were going vs how things were supposed to go in our opinion with the blogging and interacting on Tumblr. And we noticed we didn’t see all of that eye to eye. So we felt we had to take a step back, and evaluate what was happening.
We came to the conclusion that we had to go back to the point where we were before starting blogging. From then on we got back to enjoying the thought of the lifestyle and eventually also experiencing this for real.
Q: What are 5 things you’ve learned about yourselves/ each other while taking this journey together?
A: 1) We have to talk and listen to each other all the time: Be completely open and honest, don’t have any secrets, and talk about your emotions. Because this lifestyle comes with all the negative emotions a human being can experience: fear, jealousy, sadness, anger, et cetera. You have to be prepared to deal with that.
We have to trust each other to the fullest. We must have faith in the love that we have for one another. Otherwise learning number 1 has no meaning.
We can’t be selfish. This takes more than two to tango. I as a stag need my kicks, N as the hotwife hers… we are equally important. But there is also at least one other human being involved when you bring the lifestyle into practice. He or she has feelings, and needs as well. And with that emotions… We have to consider them very well.
We should be respectful and discrete all the time. Even if someone wants to participate, it doesn’t mean there is a guarantee for a superb hot and passionate experience. It takes self knowledge, courage and confidence to participate in this. Lovers (even if only potential) can get insecure of the presence of me (both physically and even mentally when I’m not physically around). In the society we live in, this lifestyle is mostly condemned and a taboo. People are always subconsciously aware of that. It makes that you cannot predict how things go.
On top of that one should realize that circumstances beyond your control can have an influence, and have consequences for the wishes and hopes that all involved may have.
Q: You consider yourself a stag husband. Why do you prefer this label over calling yourself a cuckold?
A: Hard question, but I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years. It has to do with the humiliation-aspect mainly. I don’t like it. I am me, a man who gets aroused by the fact that his wife is confident enough and well aware of her own sexual attraction and ability to enjoy sexual pleasure with multiple men. I feel that is my personal right as a human being, and that no one has the right to humiliate me with that. Teasing is fine, as long as it’s playful, and not degrading. And I do not agree that there are restrictions in this lifestyle so that it makes me a cuckold instead of a stag.
For example: I do not agree that tasting or eating another man’s cum out of your wife’s pussy is automatically humiliating, and it does not define me as a cuckold. To me that is the ultimate bond of love between me and my wife. I feel it like this: during reclaim sex I am the person who ultimately gets to taste, smell, feel, and consume the remains of the intimacy my wife has had with another man, and have fantastic sex with her as well. How intimate and emotionally engaged can one get? She trusts me enough to share her great experience with me…
If you even think about it further, I am the one that’s getting rid of all the potential offspring of that man’s encounter with my wife. If you see things in the cuckold way where there is an alpha and a beta male, then I am definitely the alpha male… I win…
Q: What was it like when you first found out your husband was open to the idea of sharing you with other men? How did it make you feel? How and why did your feelings change over time?
A: I had never heard of cuckolding before and at first I thought he just wanted a threesome with me and another man. I wondered if he might be gay… but he told me that was not the case. Then I searched the internet for information on cuckolding and I was pretty shocked by what I found. I couldn’t identify with the dominant women and the humiliation part. So we decided to let it rest for a while.
It was only when I fully understood that his wish to share me was all out of a deep love and trust, that I started to feel triggered by it. And from there things accelerated… I started to look around and became more and more aware of my effect on men. I felt so incredibly sexy! The role of hotwife grew on me quite easily.
Today, it is not a role anymore. I AM a hotwife. I love how my husband gets off on the idea of me fucking other men. We decided the humiliation thing was not for us and that respect would have to be a key aspect. So we’ve made it our own and I love it this way!
Q: It’s not uncommon for some couples (or one partner in some couples) to get off on the idea of pushing boundaries. Does this apply to either of you here?
A: No, not consciously anyway. But I like to explore things up to a certain extent. I am not a thrill seeker by nature or overly ambitious to constantly try something new or beat my own or others’ records. But if something new comes on my path then I sure will look if it is for me. And we notice that things evolve naturally. Because you feel more at ease, you automatically shift your boundaries. It’s not that we challenge ourselves with that though, just more that we sometimes find that we like to try something new.
For example, N had her last lover take her in a public area, a little secluded but where people from the apartment building across the street sure might have seen her having sex. The opportunity was there, she wanted the guy badly, so she went for it. If you would have asked her if she would do that prior to the appointment, she’d probably would have said ’no’…
Q: What would you say to a couple who asked you why you chose to go down this path?
A: We had come to a point in life that we understood better who we were and what we wanted out of life. And that was mainly to live our own life as we really wanted. We just wanted to be happy. That’s what actually brought us together initially, and why we divorced our former partners. And because we understood ourselves better, it became easier to confide in each other. We felt we could tell the other the deepest secrets and darkest fantasies that we always had kept from others. That trust gave us enough confidence to try this.
So bottom line : being honest to ourselves and each other made us go this way…
Q: A lot of couples into hotwifing say it’s not for everybody. What are some things another couple could do to see whether or not it’s “for them”?
A: We guess it should start with talking and listening to each others thoughts and feelings about this… Try to figure out if it is really something they both want. If one of them is just saying yes to please the other, than stay away from this. If the answer is ‘yes, we both really want this….’ than they are probably best served with role playing first.
They should ask themselves constantly while on this journey: Do I still want this? Can I handle the emotions that are going to kick in? Do I still have faith in our relationship being able to handle this? Because those emotions can be very, very strong. Come to think of that: we are probably very lucky that I had this wish. N is very honest, and she says that probably she would find it hard to have it the other way (me having sex with other women). She is trying to be open for the idea, because she feels it would be only fair as I let her be with other men… But even the thought of it gives her a jealous and scared feeling. I don’t feel the excitement and urge for it either, so I guess we are perfectly matched… ;-)
And a last important [piece of] advice: keep talking and listening to each other!!! Do something with what the other is saying on the subject. Objections are real! Don’t just persuade the other to go through with it despite objections. It will ruin your relationship probably.
Q: How do you keep the balance between exploring this lifestyle and also making sure your primary relationship or the connection between the two of you doesn’t suffer?
A: We are always clear about our boundaries (although they can shift!). And we respect those boundaries. If one of us wants to stop doing this, we have the agreement that it stops there and then.
But we must say that up until now it only enhances our love and connection, so we don’t see it stop. On the contrary… We see that our boundaries are flexible, and that by experiencing we learn to open up more. And want more of this. N is getting more confident and naughtier, and looking for more experiences and I also feel the urge of sharing her more, instead of less.
Q: Many women would question whether or not a woman can truly love her husband if she’s sleeping with other men. How would you respond to this?
A: F: I can only tell what I see in N’s behaviour towards me. It’s gratitude, admiration and above all a deep love for me. I notice that we bond even more, and that our mutual respect for each other has grown further. I guess that it might not be for everyone, but that’s probably because of the fact that one allows other, negative feelings to get in the way of the love.
N: Nothing to add to that, only that I even love F more. It is something we started doing out of love, so it just has enhanced my feelings for him.
_“It was only when I fully understood that his wish to share me was all out of a deep love and trust, that I started to feel triggered by it.” _
I can’t overemphasize the profoundness of N’s statement here. It speaks to just how important it is for a woman to be able to make an emotional connection to this fantasy in order for her to be open to it. And how the idea is presented or explained to her directly affects whether or not she’ll be able to make an emotional connection to the fantasy.
F & N are admirable to say the least. Their story should give all husbands inspiration to be honest about their fantasy and hope when they encounter rejection. It should illustrate to all wives that it’s normal to be resistant to the idea, and still eventually come to embrace it.
I’d like to thank F & N for taking the time to participate in this interview. If you haven’t already, check out their Tumblr which can be found here: stagftohotwifen.tumblr.com. And most importantly, if you think your wife is too resistant to come around, you should seriously consider thinking again…;-)
And just in case you wanted to see a higher-resolution photo…