In a world where so many people are still heavily influenced by Puritan values and morals regarding sex and sexuality, those out there like Taara & James are a breath of fresh air; a beacon in the dark if you will. Why?
Because Taara & James not only have very “sex-positive” views and attitudes, but they’ve also created a website (www.sexuninterrupted.com) dedicated to inspiring people to become aware of their sexuality, and explore their sexual fantasies and desires.
Taara & James are themselves in the swinger lifestyle. “We both have different stories about how we got into the lifestyle,” Taara & James said. “For how we both got into it together is another. We were both very open sexually, just not open to the public type deal. We were friends with benefits before we got together and had some lifestyle-like experiences while just friends. It gave us that opportunity to open up as friends and communicate on a level not achieved before. Being able to express ourselves sexually as friends is pretty much how we got into the lifestyle. Once together it was a no-brainer that we were going to be in an open relationship. I enjoy multiple men and he enjoys me enjoying myself! I also enjoy multiple women too. We are all over the map :P”
What’s Appealing About All This?
A common theme you’ll find when reading all the interviews I’ve done so far with different couples around the globe who are exploring alternative relationship arrangements such as cuckolding, hotwifing, swinging, polyamory, etc., is that they all talk about how fulfilling it is, sexually and otherwise. Taara and James are no different. When I asked them what they would say are the 5 most appealing things they’ve found couples to enjoy when they choose to embrace the swinging lifestyle, here’s what they listed:
- honest communication
- something different
- the people/friends
- not worried about cheating
- stronger relationship
- less jealousy
- more trust
- organic and natural
That’s more than 5, and they’re all pretty solid things. Take any one of those issues by itself and think about how difficult it is for your average couple to navigate it. Very, right?
So if an alternative relationship arrangement is so beneficial and fulfilling, why doesn’t everybody do it? There are a lot of answers to that question, but the one Taara & James gave along with their example is particularly insightful. “Personal insecurities I think are one of the biggest hurdles why people choose not to get into the lifestyle. When you are in the lifestyle there isn’t much to hide. Think about Hedonism down in Jamaica. Nude beach and lifestyle friendly. Now you’re on a nude beach interacting with swingers….in that situation there isn’t many ways to hide who you are. You have to be comfortable with yourself to fully love and appreciate those experiences.”
You have to be comfortable with yourself indeed. Does that mean people who aren’t comfortable with themselves are bad/less/negative/other-condescending-adjective? Of course not. Everyone has personal insecurities, and those who don’t usually don’t function very well in this thing the rest of us like to call “society.” Navigating alternative relationship arrangements can be extremely difficult and challenging. (That’s partially why I have a job :) )
Which Path Is Right For You?
So which of the “less traveled roads” should you take if you’re thinking about cuckolding vs swinging? Here’s what Taara & James said on that: “Each couple is different and how they progress in the lifestyle varies as they learn to communicate their specific fantasies and desires. If a man has expressed interest in the idea of another man fucking his wife and his wife/partner mutually agrees, then begin with that. Expressing your wants and desires will start the dialogue necessary to achieve both! It is the root from which the open relationship is built on. "
It can be a bit intimidating though because there’s no rule-book on what you should do and how you should do it when you’re looking to get into an alternative relationship arrangement. That’s why I’m such a big of fan of websites like the one Taara & James created. Here’s what they had to say when I asked them about other good resources for couples who are looking to get into the swinging lifestyle:
“Our WEBSITE ha-ha, but that aside there are now numerous websites, podcasts and TV shows dedicated to the Swinging Lifestyle. The swinging lifestyle has only begin to rise in the last 10 years with the progress of the internet. It is SO MUCH EASIER for the lifestyle community to connect. AFF, Kasidie and numerous other adult websites have made it a bit easier to locate lifestyle establishments and lifestylers. The number of clubs has increased lately and we strongly encourage people to go and check some out. As a couple you can only figure out what you like and don’t like be dipping your toes in the water. A lifestyle club is a great way to meet local lifestylers and talk. Most clubs we have been to have been great with first timers.”
So there you have it. Great people, great website. I’d like to thank Taara & James for taking the time out of their busy schedules to share their thoughts & views with us. If you haven’t already, check out their website at www.sexuninterrupted.com