Do you like blondes with tattoos and piercings? I do, but that’s not why I chose this sexy blonde vixen for an interview. I chose her because she’s very knowledgeable and experienced when it comes to living the Stag & Vixen lifestyle and likes to share her journey and what she’s learned with the Tumblr world.
Just in case you’re not familiar with this lingo yet, Stag & Vixen Hotwifing differs from traditional cuckolding. This vixen gets to play with bulls as frequently as she wants—with “Daddy’s blessing”. Not only that, but they also both participate in the swinger lifestyle enjoying other couples together.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you the self-proclaimed unrepentant hotwife Lillybgoddess!
Q: How did you get started in the hotwife lifestyle? Whose idea was it and how was it brought up?
A: This came about with much talk due to much alcohol and no filter talking about our fantasies with each other. We were already swingers but I mentioned to my Stag that I loved the idea of having more than 1 man in a simple 3some. Surprisingly and with much talk…he allowed it and we started the search. Never looked back since that day.
Q: It’s not uncommon for a woman to say that if her husband let her sleep with someone else, she would lose respect for him. What do you think the connection is for them between the idea of being able to sleep with someone else and losing respect for their husband is he allows that?
A: I honestly don’t understand this one. I look at it this way…if my husband allows me to play with other men, he is taking a huge risk and he is doing it with us in mind! I see it as a big leap of faith on his part and I should be thankful that he trusts me that much. My respect for him is very high for this very reason.
So, I don’t understand a woman who would lose respect for his man this way.
Q: You have a solid amount of experience in this lifestyle and have most certainly learned a lot. What have you learned about the process of going about finding a bull? Is there a streamlined step-by-step process you can recommend for what the best/easiest way to go about it when you’re using online websites?
A: This is a tedious and exhausting process! And it takes patience to find the right ones. Its It’s also a crap shoot using online sites. Sometimes a really good guy comes along quickly…and other times, it takes weeks to even get a decent response from a guy.
There are just so many misconceptions about the lifestyle so many of these men have no idea how they should make contact. So usually they come at you with all guns bearing away about sex and nothing else. That may work on some Hotwives but not me, so it can be discouraging.
I can’t say its streamlined but we know how to search and it goes smoothly most of the time now. The best advice I can give you is that you have to be picky. Never settle!
Q: You’ve said that if someone’s relationship isn’t in a good place and they’re looking to spice things up, using hotwifing to do that will destroy the relationship further. How, or how come? What would you say are the risks involved with hotwifing if you explore it without a solid relationship foundation?
A: I’ve actually witnessed this! If you just act as though the relationship is irrelevant when attempting this lifestyle…then that’s exactly what will happen. Your relationship will become irrelevant.
Some girls come out of their shells when they jump into this and learn that they are desired by men more than they thought. This creates in some…an arrogant nature about it. If the relationship with her husband is not in good shape…she will see this new lifestyle as greener pastures and leave the husband. They will think they can and will do better. The men who got this rolling for them then all of a sudden are in disbelief that they just lost their wife. Its It’s a sad thing but common.
This is why I emphasize to couples…make sure you are deeply in love and trust each other implicitly. That is the only way to enter the lifestyle safely.
Q: Many women (including you) say they can’t have sex with someone they don’t have an emotional connection to. How do you make sure the emotional connection you do make with the bull doesn’t go “too far”? How can this be controlled?
A: I somewhat agree with the women on this. I am similar. I have to have a connection of sorts! I dont enjoy one and done sexcapades at all. I always remind myself that the connection cannot go any farther than a sexy friendship. I stay in touch with my Stag about it all and when he sees red flags, I listen to him and his opinion.
Its it’s not difficult for me to separate loving emotions from friendly sexual emotions. But, if you’re not careful, it can change quickly, so you have to guard your heart.
Q: What would you say to women who say it shouldn’t take a stranger having sex with them for their husbands to be as romantic, emotional, and loving as they are during the reclamation process? (They’d say the husbands should be like that all the time. Is that unrealistic? If so, why?)
A: Very unrealistic expectations from women who just don’t understand how men work internally. Men aren’t usually as emotional and loving as women are anyway. That’s just a fact.
There are limits of extremes here but overall I believe men during reclamation are in an adoration moment. A worshiping moment. Women cant expect that from men all of the time. No more than they can expect us to do the same. Men show love and emotion better in the bedroom. This is how their mind works typically. Also a fact! So I would tell women out there to get rid of these expectations.
Q: How do you make sure your kids don’t know about your arrangement? What steps have you taken to keep the lifestyle separate from your normal everyday life?
A: Lol! This is something we always keep to ourselves and always make sure that our adulting and Hotwifing is handled outside of our home. We never bring it into our home. When at home, we are your basic living American family.
Q: What advice would you have for a man whose wife is willing to talk about his fantasy in the bedroom, but afraid to make it happen in reality?
A: I would tell them both to keep it that way until you both are ready to take the next step. Both must be willing…without pressure.
Q: What advice would you have for a man looking to strengthen his relationship, but he and his female partner don’t have the ability to spend a lot of time together due to the hectic demands of life? What kinds of things can be do to maintain and grow their relationship?
A: This one is a no brainer. To enhance the relationship, you must find the time! Everyone has a hectic and busy life but if either one of you neglects the relationship…you can only expect the worse. You have to make the time to fill each others love meters.
I’d like to thank Lilly for taking the time to do this interview with us. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and stop by her Tumblr (which you can find here: https://lillybgoddess.tumblr.com), as she has some content that’s definitely worth perusing ;-)