Our next interviewee is a sexy suburban MILF with an unmistakably clear sense of self and a refreshingly raw (as in strong and undisguised) personality, one to whom I’d be doing a great disservice if I didn’t mention the fact that she is obviously also a very intelligent woman. It is with pride and pleasure that I introduce to you FlirtyNola.
Nola has herself and her life so together that her sense of personal fulfillment as a wife, mother, woman, and entrepreneur would make any woman jealous. And by “together” I don’t necessarily mean that she’s regimented or that her life isn’t hectic. What I mean is that she knows what her values and goals are, and she does what it takes to live her life in alignment with those values and achieve her goals. And if that means coloring outside the lines once in awhile (creatively, not illegally or negatively), it’s what she does. And you know what?
That’s just awesome. Provided you’re not some stick in the mud who takes himself/herself too seriously, I personally guarantee you that by the end of this interview, FlirtyNola’s unique combination of sass and wit will have made you laugh and think at least once, “This woman is badass.” Not only is the interview entertaining, but there’s also some hidden gems in it regarding what it takes to live the hotwife lifestyle in a fulfilling way amidst all the demands of life. Enjoy!
Q: You describe yourself as a proud MILF. Clearly you have a very strong and active sexuality. Tell us, how did having kid(s) affect your sexuality, and what are some tips you could give to women struggling with having a satisfying sex life while raising kids and taking care of the family? What can the husbands do to help their wives stay connected to their sexuality?
A: Kids really are nature’s little cockblockers…They are amazing but they do not make it easy to have an active sex life with your spouse let alone others. Prior to kids I had never even heard of the term Hotwife. I had been a little wild when I was younger but had been sorta conservative since getting married. Pregnancy really threw a wrench in our sex life - I felt fat and bloated and tired and we were both really out of sync sexually. It got worse after the kids were born.
I think it’s safe to say after the initial craziness of giving birth nothing is working right…brain, hormones, body…the only good thing about any of that is having bigger than usual tits. After that initial 6 month freak-out things start to normalize…but being sexual was not effortless. Having to care for other living creatures 24/7 doesn’t exactly leave a lot of room for naughty thoughts…let alone actions. I kinda resented my husband who would come home from work and mope around whining about sex and constantly poking me in the back with his boner at night. It was easy to hold out all the time.
I knew, however I had to make an effort to get things back to normal so I would have sex when I wasn’t in the mood, or while staring at the baby monitor…and eventually everything just kind of went back to normal. And then normal got more adventurous and then suddenly Naughty Nola came busting out of hibernation! It was not easy though and I had to really work to get my groove back.
Fast forward 4 years…my kids are constantly nosey, always wanting to know what i’m doing, always wanting to be around me (I know, how dare they right?). However we have made it a point to challenge them back (without them knowing) and we get creative in our naughty work-arounds. We run off and do it in the closet while their eyes are glued to Spongebob. We stay up later than we want to to make sure that they are asleep so we can have good sex and not always make do with quickies..I admit that sometimes we make them go to bed before their bedtime because we are horny and impatient….yeah i’m not always Parent of the Year. Taking care of a family is both hard and rewarding but it is so so so important to keep that separate, sexy relationship with your spouse because at the end of the day that is the person you committed to. The children are equally as important but play a different role. It is not easy but as a Mom you have to try and keep the family together but also keep your relationship with your spouse separate, if that makes sense. A miserable wife is a shitty mom. As far as the husbands go, I think what is the most helpful is for them to understand that we don’t operate the same way. Guys can easily compartmentalize, while it’s harder for women (for me anyway) to not constantly have a cornucopia of thoughts running through our brains no matter what we are doing. If the husband understands that, he won’t make it worse by being needier than a baby and eventually your wife will get back to her normal sexual self. Help with the kids. Let me feel pretty again. Be patient. Be supportive. Allow me to refind my sexuality at my pace. Don’t be a whiny bitch…it is not sexy and will not get you what you want!
Q: You also describe yourself as a normal suburban girl with a secret naughty side. Do any of your friends or family know about this secret naughty side?
A: Our story and the path that led to my current naughty lifestyle is something that my husband and I keep very private (says the hotwife with a Twitter feed, a Tumblr blog and who is doing an interview about fucking other people)…and we like that it’s “our” special thing. If any of my family knows about my secret naughty side they are very good about not mentioning it (I come from a very conservative family so this is unlikely)…
I do try very hard to keep it private. I feel like there is no benefit to them knowing my naughty ways because it would only upset them. I have only a couple of friends who know everything about me - I just don’t trust people to not blab things to the world. A lot of people freak out when someone isn’t “normal like them” and I have no desire to defend myself because I have nothing that I feel ashamed or guilty about.
If I was making a lucrative living by being naughty that would be great but I have to interact daily with work and family and schools and parents and neighbors and I do not want them judging me 24/7. I do not want it to affect our careers or our normal social life or my fine upstanding reputation in our community lol. I also obviously have kids and have no desire for them to ever be impacted negatively by their flirty mommy… I can’t afford that kind of therapy.
Q: How did you get into showing your body off online? A: My husband and I had moved twice in two years and had just given birth to our second child…we didn’t have family locally and we didn’t know anyone so we had no babysitters. We were feeling very isolated and going a little stir crazy. Much to our surprise we channeled this boredom into a real sexual breakthrough. We began staying up late and talking for hours about our fantasies. We really connected and became closer and more sexual than ever. We had started talking about the whole Hotwife thing and I told my husband there was a coworker of mine who was always very flirty with me and that I was going to see him at a conference in a couple of months. We decided this could perhaps be our first adventure. We had never taken pictures of me but we snapped a few faceless body shots so that I could taunt this guy (again, i’m such a bitch) and get him worked up for me. My husband loved taking the pictures and I can’t lie…I loved playing model (it was such an escape from just being a regular suburban mom). We are not pros and we just use a cell phone camera, but we decided we were pretty good at it and since we couldn’t go out why not dress in lingerie every weekend, take pictures and then….? Long after the guy in question was done with, we were still taking pictures every weekend. That got us thinking, why are we doing this? Yes it’s fun for us but wouldn’t it be more fun to interact with people and hear their reactions? Wouldn’t it be fun to have a little lingerie blog and start exploring a different lifestyle? So that’s what we did, we started a Tumblr blog and have met so many fun, awesome people. My husband loves showing me off and I admit that I love that he wants to show me off. The feedback has been great and I have been really surprised at how much of a turn on it is to hear (and see) how many guys get off to my pics. We still keep some clothes on…no pussy or penetration pics…and this allows me to show my face which is important to me. Over time the pictures have done amazing things for my self confidence and that confidence is what has allowed me to become the Hotwife that I am today!
Q: You’re a hotwife. Can you tell us what your current hotwifing situation looks like? How did you get into it, what does your husband say, and how often do you get to “play”?
A: As I mentioned before, having young kids kept us more isolated than we were used to but we used the time to really delve into each others fantasies. My husband had expressed a desire to have me play with others when we first met and I had shut the topic down entirely. I was not initially open to the idea at all. This time, however, I listened.
I told him that I didn’t want to do it because I was not comfortable seeing him with anyone else. He immediately told me that he was fine with that. He said it did not have to be a two-way street. He was more than okay with me playing and him…not playing. I didn’t believe him but he kept on talking about it. He eventually got me to believe that he would be VERY turned on by me having sex with other men as long as we communicated well and as long as nothing at all was kept secret.
I started to think more seriously about the concept. Could I enjoy fucking other guys? Would my husband really be ok with it? The more we talked, the closer we became and the more open to the idea I became.
The co-worker situation allowed me to test things by chatting online and sharing with my husband. It was fun, and exciting, and hot. We learned to really communicate and it was amazing. We took daily baby steps until we were ready to take the plunge. We have had setbacks and mishaps. We have had to reset and take breaks BUT the decision to become a “hotwife” changed our lives and made our relationship stronger, more adventurous and more fun than I could have imagined! These days our rules are simple. I can play with girls at any time. I can play with men as long as we have discussed it and my husband approves. We share every detail and communicate obsessively. Kids, work, family and life come first but we manage to carve out time for adventures. I love being able to go out and meet a new friend - my husband will get me a hotel room - and we will see what happens. The back and forth texts are often more fun than the hotwife adventures!
Q: Has anyone you know ever stumbled across your sexy online content? If so, what did they say? If not, what do you think you’d do if someone you know did stumble across any of it?
A: If anyone I know has stumbled across my sexy online content they have never said anything, either because they don’t want to explain what they were doing when they stumbled upon it or they can’t associate with me because I’m clearly going to hell.
I’ve actually thought about this a lot and it does hold me back sometimes. I guess I would first say that I’m a business woman and this is part of my business (I run a naughty adult board game site and small cosmetics company from home). Running the sexy ecommerce sites allows me a little bit of air cover because I can claim that I am just doing marketing lol..
The next thing I would say is that it’s not something I keep from my husband, in fact I couldn’t do any of this without him. He is really the only one who matters, i’m not deceiving him, we are in it together, so I guess if anyone else found out I would get over it pretty quickly.
Nobody wants to be embarrassed in front of family or friends but this is our life and we wouldn’t trade it for anything. We have a great relationship and an amazing family. Our fear is being dull. You only get one shot at life and we are not willing to waste it because of other people’s misguided guilt. We are good people and we are confident in our life choices. Lingerie pictures and flirty banter are not something that I feel ashamed of.
**Q: What are 2-3 of the “dirtiest/naughtiest” things you’ve ever done? **
A: I don’t do things that would make me feel “dirty” - that is a big deal for me. I never want to wake up and regret what I did the night before.
Naughty….well that is something I do well. Here are a few things that come to mind:
Seducing my neighbor on a regular basis. Husband’s at work (but is fully aware), kids are at school, i’m bored and need to borrow some lawn equipment…why would I borrow tools from anyone other than the single guy across the street? Good thing I moved out of that neighborhood because I’m sure I was not as stealthy as I assumed I was…It was so fun sneaking across the street to fuck him in his living room, kitchen, backyard, pool…you get the idea. He was always a little afraid of my husband and that made it even more fun!
On vacation with my husband (celebrating a milestone birthday) we came across a clothing optional bar. We had been day drinking in the sun for much of the day and by 2am we were pretty open to moving out of our comfort zones. The bouncer was a giant Samoan who looked like The Rock (my lustful fantasy). I told my husband that he was hot and he suggested that I go for it. There was an artist doing body painting so I signed up, got naked and got painted. I noticed the bouncer checking me out so when the bar closed, naked except for paint, I asked the bouncer what he was doing. “You”, he said. That worked for me. I led his beautiful giant body back to our hotel where he fucked me while my accommodating husband waited outside. As the bouncer left, my husband came in to find me laying in a pile of messy painted sheets with evidence of our adventure still on my face.
One of my husband’s oldest friends came to town for a convention and we drove out to meet him. We had drinks and talked until it was late. He had been flirty but not inappropriate. When he excused himself to use the restroom my husband asked if I was interested in taking things further. I had always thought that he was attractive but I was anxious about crossing boundaries with friends. I told my husband I would give it a try if he was ok with it. We invited our friend up to our hotel room for a night cap and he accepted. We had an awkward few minutes where everyone knew what could happen but nobody knew how to break the ice. I went to the bathroom and my husband showed our friend my Tumblr blog…that was all that it took. As soon as I entered the room he grabbed me and threw me on the bed - clothes flew everywhere and before I knew it he was inside me. For the next hour he fucked me from behind, from the side, on the floor and I rode him until I could barely move. As soon as he finished, my husband who had been watching it all, jumped on me and finished the night with a quick but very satisfying session.
Q: Do you have any regrets exploring this lifestyle? If so, what are they and why? If not, what are some things which contributes to your confidence and keeps you going down this path?
A: I can honestly say that I have no regrets exploring this lifestyle so far. It took some time to become comfortable both with the overall idea and then the reality of actually doing it. I think that we all carry a lot of BS moral baggage around with us that tells us this way of life is wrong or sinful and it takes some work to move past that. I would rather live a satisfying life and fuck who I choose and express myself how I want to in partnership with a loving and supportive husband rather than being a cheat or bored and miserable.
This lifestyle keeps us close because it requires constant communication. Now we are open about everything - no secrets - no guilt. I realize now that the ones I used to fear being judged by are just insecure and often a little unhappy and bitter. My marriage and my sex life keep getting better the more we explore…no regrets.
I would stress though that couples interested in exploring the Hotwife life should take it slow. Talk through things and don’t rush. Talk about everything and never “take one for the team”. Take breaks if it feels uncomfortable or awkward or wrong. Feeling guilty or “dirty” is awful (if you are not going for that feeling) and can ruin the experience. Be sensitive to each other’s comfort levels and always remember you are about to fuck that new cock because it can bring you and your husband closer together. Win/Win if you do it right!
Q: What are some things you like to do when you’re not hotwifing or having fun in sex-related ways?
A: This is a great question. I think it is important for people to realize that being a Hotwife is not an all-encompassing thing. The sexual experimentation is amazing and liberating and hot. The way it has enhanced my relationship with my husband is unbelievable. The lifestyle has been so much fun! but this side of my life is not obsessive or all encompassing. It is not an either/or situation.
I am a Mom, a wife, a friend and a neighbor. I am an entrepreneur who runs three small businesses. I am very active in my kids’ lives and adore my family life. I cook, I clean, I shuttle kids, I drink wine (and beer and Vodka and Bourbon) and watch Netflix and sports.
My life is normal, fun, frustrating, funny, maddening, and beautiful like everyones. The Hotwife aspect just keeps it from ever feeling dull or routine or trapped…if that makes sense. I keep myself in shape because… who knows…I might want to get naked with a stranger. I don’t get upset if normal life gets busy for weeks because I know another naughty adventure will come along. And the sex with my husband is always good because we have learned to share our true feelings and desires. No cheating, no guilt, no long-term boredom. I guess the simple answer is that when I am not out fucking, I am grounded in every way and that makes my life amazing.
Q: As a mom, what do you think of the mixed messages society sends to moms/wives about their sexuality?
A: Society in general are a bunch of judgemental and contradictory fucks. Too many people don’t have the balls to be original or exciting. They sit around wishing they weren’t normal and hating on people who actually have fun.
There is a reason why I don’t engage in “normal” parental activities like PTA (yes, I joke about not wanting PTA members to find my pictures, but I never actually go near them). That’s nothing but a mom sorority that wants to throw shade at the first lady who puts nuts in her brownies (gross btw). I have no time for that kind of pettiness or negativity…plus I know that their husbands all want to fuck me on the bake sale table and who needs all that drama!
Moms get dealt a shitty hand. They want us to wear “Mom Jeans” and shuttle kids and mop floors but then they cheat on us because we are not as sexy as the 24 year old intern. They want us to do squats and wear yoga pants and blow them on road trips but then shame us as sluts and bad mothers. Other moms are mean and spiteful too and try to drag you down into their high-waisted jean hell…”live for your children” “ sacrifice your dreams” “suppress your desires” no time for your husband or sex or showers… Yeah well, this homie never played that. I am a mom who didn’t lose myself when I became a mom. I take care of my kids, I’m a good mom, and I drink beer and wear a shit ton of mascara and boobie shirts while doing it. I have “mommy nights” where I go out with my friends and crash in a hotel because I want to drink too much and not drive (my husband is a saint). I’m always there to take care of what I need to take care of. I am a better mom, wife and all around person because I have kept my individuality and my personality intact.
Q: Would you consider yourself bisexual? What do you like about playing with women vs playing with men?
A: Oh God yes! I am very bisexual…I love women. For as long as I can remember I’ve fantasized about sex with women and when I finally experienced it, it was exactly what I thought it would be - fucking amazing in a way that I can’t even describe.
Playing with women is just a different level of sexual excitement for me…it’s not better than a strong man with a big dick, it’s just completely different. And I love it. I love that I can do to a girl the things I want done to me.
I think the sex is more intense because we know what pleases us so we know how to use that on each other. I also just love a woman’s body…God women are so sexy…their hair, curves, voices, everything…men are sexy too but women…mmmm.
I know for some couples the girl on girl sex is kind of a spectator sport for the husbands. I know that mine would love to watch but girl sex is personal for me and I like it to be a one on one experience. My husband gets it but he would probably not mind being a little more involved…
Q: What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced regarding living this lifestyle?
A: There are two:
Keeping it separate from those who don’t know I’m in this lifestyle.. Like most people I have many friends who I have experienced tons of crazy shit with and exposed many deep dark secrets with…but this I keep separate. I don’t want anyone to rain on my parade and I feel like close friends are the ones most likely to do that. I know they would see it as unfaithful or weird and I don’t want to lose those friendships - especially because it’s easy for me to separate.
The real challenge that I have had is finding men that don’t suck! Guys talk a big game but more often than not they freak out. I have a husband and our sex life is great. I get loving sex at home. When Flirty Nola is in Hotwife mode I want a different experience. I want a man to take charge. Throw me up against a wall and fuck me. Have some stamina. Have a big dick and keep it hard. Make me feel sexy. Be a man and take control. That is what I want. What I get is:
- Guys that suddenly freak out that I am married
- Men who are intimidated
- Men who are tiny or can’t get it up or who cum in 30 seconds
- Men who just want to cuddle and watch Netflix
I hate to sound like a bitch but I want fun sex. Men tell me this is what they want to do to me but when push comes to shove there have been a lot of let downs. The good news is that these misadventures make great stories and have given my husband and I a lot of laughs. I will admit to being a little frustrated though. Come on men - you can do better! If you are with me it is because I want you…Take me damnit!
Q: Do you know M&J from cuckolding.club? They were the ones who thought you would be a fun and interesting interviewee.
A: I do not know M&J well but I am extremely grateful to them. They have been very supportive of my online game business and have acted as amazing promotion partners - all without being asked. They are just good people and a terrific example of the wonderful supportive people that you meet in this lifestyle.
I was surprised (and flattered) that they thought I was worthy of being interviewed. They are very supportive of my social media feeds and I think they like the sass and sexuality that I put out on Twitter. I hope they have been able to get a sense of who I am and that they find me interesting (and sexy).
I’d like to thank FlirtyNola for taking the time out of her busy life to answer our questions in such an open, honest way—and for going into as much detail as she did. For those of you who want to know (and see) more about FlirtyNola, you should check out her Twitter which can be found here: https://twitter.com/flirtynola and her Tumblr which can be found here: https://flirtynola.tumblr.com/ For those of you who think FlirtyNola is an awesome woman, let her know here or on her Twitter/Tumblr. And for those of you who wish your wife was as fun and open as she is, remember, she wasn’t open to the lifestyle at first either. You can make your fantasy happen if you go about it the right way, and the products and services I offer on this site are here to help.