My Wife Is So Stupid

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Section 1

I had always known that my wife wasn’t exactly brilliant. Her naiveté and innocence was part of what made her so absolutely irresistible to me. I had no idea just how stupid my wife really was until the events of New Years Eve 2004. Everyone at her office is really good friends so they decided to have a New Year’s eve party instead of a Christmas party.

It was getting close to midnight and I was looking for Nicole so we could ring in the New Year with a kiss. I hadn’t seen her much since we got there. I had been talking about football with a group of the guys and she had taken off to talk to some of her co-workers as soon as we set foot in the building.

I decided I’d try her office figuring she and some friends had gone there to get away from the deafening noise of the party. As I walked down the hall towards her office I could see that sure enough the light was on. I walked one step into the room and stopped dead in my tracks.

I could not believe the scene I found in front of me. I had entered the office to discover my wife sitting on the edge of her desk facing the door. She had her skirt pulled up around her waist and her panties had been removed and tossed on the floor leaving her completely shaved pussy on display.

She wasn’t alone in the office either; there were two guys there. I recognized them as her co-workers Tom and Grant. They were two creepy little guys that I had never trusted, but she had always seemed to like.

The two guys weren’t just sitting back and looking at her either, they were so close their bodies were making contact with hers. Tom was standing beside her and Grant was on his knees his face very close to her bare pussy.

They were all pre-occupied so they hadn’t seen me enter the room. Just as I was opening my mouth to say something the roar of Happy New Year came up from the people back down the hall at the party.

Using that as their signal Tom pulled Nicole’s face to his and kissed her and Grant pressed his face into her pussy and kissed her pussy and he put his hands on her ass to pull her pussy into his face as his tongue probed around inside.

I stood shocked for a few seconds as these two men explored both ends of my wife with their tongues then Nicole saw me out of the corner of her eye and pushed Tom away from her face with one hand and Grant away from her pussy with the other.

“Hi, honey, happy New Year.” Nicole said making no effort to cover her pussy or hide what she had been doing.

The two guys pulled away from her but saw that I was between them and the only door so they sat quietly awaiting my reaction.

“What the hell is going on here?” I asked.

“The guys told me that they didn’t have anybody to kiss to ring in the New Year so I told them I’d be more than happy to let them kiss me.” Nicole said.

“What the hell was he doing between your legs?” I asked.

“Kissing me.” Nicole said with a giggle.

“Kissing you? On your pussy?” I asked flabbergasted.

“Yeah, it doesn’t count unless you do it right at midnight so they both had to kiss me at midnight.” Nicole said.

“You have two guys wanting to kiss you at midnight so you just automatically volunteer to drop your panties for them?” I asked.

“Well a kiss isn’t really a kiss unless it’s your lips against theirs. As you can clearly see I do have a set of lips down there too. Don’t be mad I was trying to help two lonely guys start the New Year off right with a fun little kiss.” Nicole said.

“Oh I’m sure that they’ve enjoyed every second of it. Tell me something, how did you decide which one of them would get to kiss you on which set of lips?” I asked.

“Well, I thought about that and I figured it was kind of unfair for one guy to kiss the good set of lips and one to kiss the others so I told the guys they’d have to decide who kissed which set of lips first.

I promised them that I’d let them switch to the other pair of lips for a slightly after new years kiss so they’d both get to kiss the good set of lips. Which reminds me I still owe them each another kiss. Okay guys switch places.” Nicole said.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, since they both got to kiss me at midnight it wouldn’t be fair to let one of them kiss me twice so that he would get to kiss the good lips and only let the other guy kiss me once so they are going to change places so they can both kiss the good pair of lips. That way they both get to kiss me twice so everything is fair.” Nicole said.

“Are you serious? Are you really gonna let him kiss you down there?” I asked.

“Of course honey, I don’t want to be unfair to Tom. Ready guys?” Nicole asked.

Of course Tom and Grant were ready. Tom was on his knees licking his lips eager to kiss my darling wife’s pussy. Grant snickered at me as he took his position to kiss Nicole’s mouth.

Tom got started first because he couldn’t wait any longer and he dove into her pussy as Grant slowly pulled her face to his. This time the kiss seemed to last longer.

Eventually I moved towards them and the two guys pulled away. They thanked my wife for helping them make it a memorable way to ring in the New Year and they returned to the party.

I gave the guys threatening looks as they left then I stared at Nicole for a few minutes as I contemplated what I had just witnessed. After a few minutes I picked up my wife’s panties and tried to help her put them back on.

“Oh come on, I want to leave them off. I have been horny all day and since I didn’t get to kiss you into the New Year, I thought we could make love right here in my office.” Nicole said.

“Do you really want to make love to me or do you just need a good fuck regardless of who gives it to you. It occurs to me that if I hadn’t come down here looking for you, you might be getting fucked by your little friends right now.” I said.

“Oh Paul you’re making way too much of this. The only thing that happened in here was that two lonely male friends of mine kissed me.” Nicole said.

“I don’t so much mind the kissing part, the fact that they kissed you on both sets of lips is the part that bothers me. Did you even think about what you were doing?” I asked.

“You’re right Paul. I know a married woman shouldn’t behave like that, but those two guys are so much fun to work with and they work so hard, but for whatever reason they can’t seem to find girlfriends. What possible harm could it do for me to let those two guys kiss me once or twice?” Nicole asked.

“It wasn’t one kiss that concerns me, it’s the other, if someone else had happened by and had seen you with them like this they’d think you were some kind of whore.” I said.

“Oh I know, the poor guys aren’t very good kissers. I can tell that they smeared my lipstick all over.” Nicole said grabbing a tissue and wiping away her lipstick.

“Your lipstick?! Honey, I could care less about what they did to your lipstick. The lips that I’m concerned about those two kissing should have been covered by these red silk panties, not the ones covered in red lipstick.” I said holding her panties out.

“Wait a minute. You aren’t upset that I let them kiss me on the mouth, you’re upset because I let them kiss my pussy?” Nicole asked surprised.

She seemed so surprised that I would be angry about her letting them kiss her pussy that I was dumfounded for a few seconds.

“Yes, I am mad that you let them kiss your pussy.” I said.

“Oh honey, that’s so silly. Why on earth would you get upset about someone wanting to kiss me at midnight so much that they were willing to kiss the thing that I pee out of? I find it amusing that they agreed to the idea so readily.

I suggested it as a joke, but they got even more excited about kissing me when they were both gonna be able to kiss me on a set of lips at midnight.

Section 2

I mean can you imagine wanting to kiss the thing a girl pees out of? It’s not like it can kiss them back; there’s no tongue to rub up against. Plus even the most diligent girl is never completely clean down there. The only advantage it has when it comes to kissing is that it has it’s own set of lips, other than that it’s like a simple kiss on the cheek.” Nicole said.

“A kiss on the cheek? Are you serious? Do you honestly not see the difference between a kiss on the cheek and a kiss on your pussy?” I asked.

“Well, I suppose it is a little different. You don’t have to take off any clothes for a kiss on the cheek, oh and you don’t have to get on your knees to kiss someone on the cheek, unless they’re a kid or a little person or something.” Nicole said.

“Oh my god, you really are serious aren’t you?” I asked.

“Yes, I can tell that you’re getting madder, but I don’t see any reason why you should be.” Nicole said.

“You really don’t mind if strange people that you work with kiss your pussy?” I asked.

“Why would I? It’s not like they’re trying to kiss my mouth. I never would have let Tom and Grant kiss me on the mouth if I didn’t feel really sorry for them being alone all the time.” Nicole said.

“Oh my god you are serious. People kissing your pussy really doesn’t bother you.” I said.

“Of course not. I think it’s kind of funny that someone would even want to put their mouth where my pee comes out. I can tell you think I should care, but why?” Nicole asked.

“Oh I don’t know, what about sex? You just said you wanted to make love. When we make love I put my dick into your pussy. The thing I pee out of goes into the thing you pee out of have you thought about that?” I asked.

“Now that you mention it no I haven’t. That makes it even weirder. Why on earth would anyone want to kiss the place I pee out of and your dick goes in when we’re having sex? That’s very strange.” Nicole said.

“Are you serious? Can you possibly not know what I’m trying to say?” I asked.

“Well maybe if you tell me what it is that you’re trying to say I’ll know whether I know it or not.” Nicole said.

“Okay, when we are just starting to have sex at home, what do I do to you?” I asked.

“Well once I’m naked we share a passionate, love filled kiss on the mouth, then you pretend you’re a baby and try to nurse on my breasts, then you kiss your way down my belly and kiss my pussy for awhile… Hey, what’s your problem, you kiss my pussy all the time. What’s the big deal if someone else does it?” Nicole asked.

“Nicole my angel, when I kiss your pussy it isn’t exactly considered kissing anymore, it is considered oral sex. The point I’ve been trying to make my faithful wife is that you just had about 20 seconds worth of oral sex with both Tom and Grant.” I said.

“I did? Oh my god. Give me those panties. Honey I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize. I didn’t even think of it that way.” Nicole said as she pulled her panties up.

“I can see that. I think you’re gonna have to get a new job. Tom and Grant are no doubt plotting ways to use your unintended gift to them to try to get more sex from you.” I said.

“Well they aren’t gonna get it. Now that I know what I let them do I’d be too embarrassed to stay working with them. I’ll just come back to work for you unless of course you don’t want to be with me anymore.” Nicole said.

“You made a mistake and you are sorry. You didn’t even know that what you were doing was something that a married woman shouldn’t do. I love you and I intend to go on loving you, I’m just gonna have to give you a lot more attention so that you know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior for a married woman.” I said.

I escorted her out the back way so that we didn’t risk facing anyone that Tom and Grant might have told on our way out. Since that night I have kept a very close eye on her to make sure that no similar situations arise.

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