One of the biggest fears about going down the cuckolding/hotwifing path has to do with the idea of your wife leaving you for her lover. After all, it’s a terrifying thought. You love your wife more than anything, and so the last thing you’d ever want to do is have something like this blow up in your face by having your wife leave you. It’s also a very big part of the reason why a lot of men don’t make it past the contemplation stage in The 4 Stages Of Being A Wannabe Cuck.
But there’s something important about this fear, and it has to do with how most people misperceive it in their heads. They view their wife leaving them as an event (or process) that just inexorably “happens”; that it can’t be prevented; that it’s just some inherent risk no matter how you structure things should you decide to go down the cuckolding/hotwifing path with your wife. This is a misperception, plain and simple.
More specifically, it’s a myth perpetuated by a fear based narrative.
You see, wives leaving their cuckold husbands for one of their lovers doesn’t just “happen” by chance. It’s not some uncontrollable event/process that a man has to helplessly experience. Why?
Because if you look at the large majority of situations where the relationship implodes and the wife does happen to leave the husband, it’s almost a guarantee that one or more of the following things I’m about to talk about went wrong.
And the good news about these things is that they are ALL controllable. You can affect and therefore prevent every single one of them, thereby almost virtually eliminating the chances of your wife leaving you if you pursue a cuckolding or hotwifing arrangement. Let’s take a look at what these things are.
1) The Lack Of A Solid Intimacy Foundation
Do you know those couples who decide they should have a baby because it’ll bring them closer to each other or even “save their relationship”? While I’m sure maybe some people out there have had such an experience, for the large majority of couples, having children is one of the most stressful (if not the most stressful) things that a relationship could experience.
And if you don’t have a solid foundation going into an experience like that, then the odds for the longevity of your relationship don’t look good.
It’s the same thing here. If you don’t have a solid intimacy foundation in your relationship before getting into a cuckolding or hotwifing arrangement, then you’re rolling the dice on whether or not it’ll blow up in your face. So how do you know if you have a solid intimacy foundation?
The question you want to ask is “how can I build the foundation I already have into what it needs to be, and keep it that way?” The easy answer is to work with me, because I always make sure to help my clients get their intimacy foundation to where it needs to be as a first step. If you’d prefer some do-it-yourself techniques, keep reading because I get into that towards the end of the article.
Bottom line is this. Lacking a solid intimacy foundation before exploring this kind of lifestyle is straight up asking for trouble. So however you decide to proceed, get your ducks in a row (or get help getting your ducks in a row) before you go any further.
2) CORRECTLY Setting Up The RIGHT Boundaries
You’ll hear a lot of talk on websites, blogs, and forums about boundaries when it comes to arrangements like this. Boundaries this and boundaries that. But that’s like saying communication is the essence of a good marriage. As a professional, I can tell you communication has nothing to do with a good marriage if you aren’t communicating in the right way.
Similarly, boundaries have nothing to do with whether or not your wife will leave you. Correctly setting up the right boundaries however does. That’s why I make sure I educate all my clients on The Precognitive Method to establishing boundaries.
The Precognitive Method is all about setting boundaries up before you both agree that you’re going to make the fantasy happen. If you didn’t do this, then get the boundaries set up immediately before proceeding any further.
You always want the fantasy to be something you are both choosing. The safest boundary you can set up is a commitment on her end to always monitor the level of her emotional connection with her other lover(s). The moment it becomes something from which she could see herself having trouble walking away to rejoin life with just you is the moment she needs to tell you, and cut the fantasy.
Let me be clear and state that the boundaries you’re setting up draw the line before the point where she feels she can’t walk away from it—not at that point.
“I’m starting to think I might not be able to walk away from this,” is too risky. Where you want the boundary is, “If I keep going down this path, I might risk not being able to walk away from this.”
The difference is subtle but important because it’s the razor’s edge between having this fantasy be something that you can enjoy, and having it become something that can blow up your relationship.
The above is just the tip of the iceberg of The Precognitive Method. For more information on how to use it to correctly set up boundaries in your relationship, feel free to check out the consulting packages I offer here: https://www.thecuckoldconsultant.com/cuckold-consulting-plans/
3) Keeping Your Own Relationship The Priority
When you not only allow but encourage your wife to form physical connections with other men, you are also opening up the door for her to make emotional connections with these other men. That’s part of why exploring this fantasy can be very intoxicating to all parties involved.
It’s all too easy to get ahead of yourselves and want to keep going deeper and deeper into it. And there’s nothing wrong with that—provided you make sure to keep your own relationship in the spotlight.
It might sound like common sense, but sometimes the husband can get so wrapped up in experiencing the thrill and angst of all this, and the wife can become sucked into wanting more and more of being free to experience the new and alluring feelings of being with other men, that both the husband and the wife forget to prioritize their own relationship together.
If you don’t do anything to not only maintain but also actively strengthen your relationship, your relationship will start to weaken and you will wind up setting the stage for a distance to develop between you. Why?
Because women are wired to constantly evaluate the status of how fulfilling their relationships with others are. One of the primary ways they do this is by comparing their current relationships with each other. They might also compare their current experience of their relationships with their own internal expectations of them.
So, when you invite another romantic partner into the mix, you essentially create another means for her to evaluate her relationship with you. She’ll be doing this without even being aware of it, and if your relationship doesn’t provide her with things that are important to her—emotionally speaking—then she’ll imperceptibly start to unconsciously pull away.
The way to make sure this doesn’t happen is to do things which maintain what she’s currently getting out of your relationship, and look for ways to give her more—either in quality or quantity.
It’s beyond the scope of this post to go into detail on what exactly would be the best way for you to do that in your relationship, but for those of you who are interested in exactly how to do this, the current special I’m running on The Inception Method, includes with it my 52 Ways product.
Applying the ideas in this product is so powerfully effective at igniting an intimate connection with your wife that they’re guaranteed to elevate her heart rate and make her instantly feel how lucky she is to be with a man like you.
For those of who you aren’t yet ready to take advantage of that deal, and you feel like reinventing the wheel, let me give you some areas in which to start:
• What things would my wife say make her feel loved in the exact way she wants to be loved?
• What are three examples of little things I can do to instantly create an emotional connection that would be deeply intimate for my wife, in any given moment throughout the day?
• What are the needs my wife would say this relationship meets, and how could I do an even better job of meeting them?
• What are the needs my wife would say this relationship doesn’t meet, and what could I do to meet them?
• How can I balance the scales of giving my wife what she wants when someone else will be giving her what she wants sexually?
• How emotionally and psychologically present would my wife say I am in our relationship, and what could I do to improve upon that?
Answering these questions can be a good place to start to make sure you maintain and strengthen your relationship the way it needs to be if you’re going to explore a cuckolding or hotwifing lifestyle. (This is also what I was referring to at the beginning of the article when I was talking about how to make sure you can build and maintain a strong intimacy foundation with your wife.)
And remember, your relationship should be the bedrock—the foundation—on which this fantasy is built. If your foundation is weak or you neglect it, not only do your chances of having your fantasy fulfilled go down, but the chances of having your fantasy go wrong go up.
The Hype Is Real / Your Fear Is Not
Exploring this fantasy is every bit as fulfilling as you imagine it could be. If you have any doubts about that, check out these interviews with REAL cuckold and hotwife couples who talk in detail about their experiences living these lifestyles, and have some great tips, tricks, and advice that anyone, novice or expert, would find value in.
So from now on, know this simple truth: if you’re serious about making your fantasy happen, then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve pulled back the curtain, and I’m showing you the truth. And the truth is that the real risk lies not in choosing to make your fantasy happen, but in trying to live your life while repressing your innermost desires. I’m going to give you a path to follow, but it’s up to you to follow it.
The path I tell you to follow though is going to depend on what the details of your situation are. There are only 4 different scenarios your situation can fall under:
- Your wife knows about your cuckold or hotwife fantasy and is willing to fantasize about it in bed, but isn’t willing to actually explore it in real life.
- Your wife knows about your cuckold or hotwife fantasy, and is not willing to fantasize about it in bed because she doesn’t like it or even understand it for that matter.
- Your wife knows about your cuckold or hotwife fantasy and has explored it with you in the past, but no longer wants to again for whatever reason(s).
- Your wife doesn’t know about your cuckold or hotwife fantasy because you haven’t brought it up to her yet.
Because each of those situations is different, they each call for taking a different approach in order to get your wife to “take the plunge”. In order to make sure you don’t waste your time reading information that won’t apply to your unique situation, I’m going to suggest that you take 5 minutes and complete my Cuckold Fantasy Type & Probablity Assessment. It’ll give you:
- A detailed analysis of where you stand (current advantages & disadvantages of your situation)
- The class/type of objections your wife has given you and what that means for how easy or difficult all this will be
- Feedback on any positive/negative auxiliary factors you have (believe it or not auxiliary factors can make or break your chances)
- Success Probability Score (how likely it is you’ll be able to make your fantasy happen)
- What type of cuckold/hotwife husband you are and how that relates to your success probability score
- The next steps you need to take to get your wife to make this a reality
To take it, all you need to do is click the button below:
If you’ve already taken it, then you should really consider taking advantage of the current deal I’m offering on The Cuckold’s Compass Objection Guide. I’ve made the offer so tempting that you literally have nothing to lose…