cuckold defintion

What Is A Cuckold? 5/5 (14)

Believe it or not, there isn’t one fully agreed-upon answer to the the seemingly simple question “What is a cuckold?”. The purpose of this mini-article will be to comprehensively yet cohesively define the word cuckold as a noun in a way that gives a nod to its historical definition yet also incorporates certain contemporary elements it has become associated with.

cuckold (n) /ˈkəkəld,ˈkəkōld/ : a submissive man (or a man with a submissive side) who derives masochistic, erotic pleasure from his female partner having sex with another man.

This definition has three key components. Let’s briefly break them down:

  1. A submissive man (or man with a submissive side)…
    • You’ll notice that this definition requires a cuckold to be a man. That is not because women can’t have a reciprocal desire, but rather because women with a reciprocal desire have a different name.
    • The “submissive” qualifier is necessary for two reasons.
      • The first is that it helps clarify the fact that some men identify as inherently submissive by nature, and other men simply have only a part of who they are that can be or are submissive.
        • The notion of parts is very important when it comes to human natures/identity; our true “identity” is composed of different parts of ourselves.
      • The second reason for this qualifier is that it helps differentiate cuckolds from men who identify more as stags or hotwife husbands and who don’t consider themselves submissive in any way, but are still capable of deriving pleasure from their wives sleeping with another man. You can read more about the distinction between stags/hotwife husbands and cuckolds in the article I wrote here.
  2. …who derives masochistic, erotic pleasure…
    • The erotic pleasure a cuckold gets has some element of masochism to it, but when I use the word masochism, I don’t necessarily mean he wants to be tied up and have physical pain inflicted upon him. Rather, the masochistic quality/element that infuses a cuckold’s erotic pleasure is more psychological and can encompass many auxiliary feelings (i.e. shame, humiliation, etc.)
    • This component also implies that the man is aware of his wife’s infidelity; if he were not aware of it, he could not derive pleasure from it, and therefore would no longer be considered a cuckold as per this definition.
  3. …from his female partner having sex with another man.
    • Notice this doesn’t require that a woman be married for her to “cuckold” her male partner.
    • The line between officially being able to call oneself a “cuckold” without having any qualifiers (i.e. partial, emotional, financial, wannabe, gay, etc.) is drawn at sexual intercourse. If a man’s female partner has a sexual encounter with another man but this sexual encounter does not include sexual intercourse, he would not be a full-fledged “cuckold” according to this definition.
      • This criterion precludes a man being a cuckold if his female partner has slept with another woman.
    • Males cannot have sex with other males in the “vaginal intercourse” sense of the definition of sex, and therefore according to this definition wouldn’t be considered “cuckolds” in the same sense as men whose female partners have sex with other men. Rather, the qualifier “gay” would be prepended onto the word cuckold just like the words “wannabe” or “emotional” would need to be prepended onto the word cuckold if certain parameters of the above definition were not met.

Now that we’ve taken a deeper dive into the three components of my definition of the word “cuckold”, it should also be noted that this definition makes no remarks about whether or not a man needs to be a willing and encouraging participant in his wife’s infidelity in order to be considered a cuckold.

I am making it a point to say this because there are some in the community who would maintain that if a man encourages his female partner to sleep with other men, he is a wittol and not a cuckold. Although I am not disputing the differences in the historical/traditional definitions of the words cuckold and wittol, I currently do not see these differences as relevant enough to warrant the promotion or use of two separate words (such as I do with stags vs cuckolds) for reasons that have to do with the relationship I believe definitions should have with contemporary connotations and sentiments.

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  • Chuch

    Reply Reply July 23, 2018

    I think you are spot on with the whole definition of what is and what isn’t a cuckold. Some say they are an alpha cuck. What is that, really?

    A cuckold, by definition, is giving a Bull his permission and approval to have sexual congress with his wife. It is a submissive arrangement on the cuckold’s part whether he wants his wife to have sex with another man outside the marriage who may or may not be a superior sexual prowess.

    The guy who shares his wife and isn’t humiliated by this is not really a cuckold but is more of a witton based on my perception and understanding.

    I do enjoy the role and understanding that my wife is having sex with another man and really gets off on it and looks forward to him coming over or going out with him and makes no bones about the fact that he can satisfy her in ways I can’t. I’m her hubby but he’s her lover

  • thunderbird

    Reply Reply August 1, 2018

    great to see a modern definition which reflects the reality of what a cuckold is and avoids the dictionary definition that insists that a man is a cuckold if his wife has intercourse with another man but he doesnt know about it. this may have been the original and current dictionary definition but doesnt fit with cuckolding as discussed on cuckold sites.

  • Keaks

    Reply Reply June 29, 2019

    Good reading

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