Male Submission, Humiliation, & BDSM With Miss Ava Zhang 5/5 (1)

I’ve done a lot of reading and researching as it relates to alternative relationship arrangements, specifically centered around cuckolding and hotwifing. In that time, I’ve come across some really interesting perspectives and some really cool, very knowledgeable people.

Out of all of them though, this female interviewee is someone who has one of the best understandings of men and the male desires for submission, humiliation, masochism, etc. that I have EVER come across. Full stop.

A professional dominatrix who describes herself as a disciplinarian and humiliatrix at heart, Miss Ava Zhang articulates the psychology and eroticism of male submission in incredibly clear and penetratingly insightful ways. Simply put, Miss Zhang knows her stuff.

Before we get into some of her views on BDSM, cuckolding, and male submission though, it might help to give you a bit of background on her and how she came to be who is is today. So I asked her when she first discovered she was a humiliatrix, and how she became to be involved in the BDSM lifestyle as she is today.

“That is a question I still ask myself to this day,” she said. “An unwavering curiosity relating to sexuality itself has been present in my mind since childhood. Throughout my formative years, and well into early adulthood, I was always fascinated by human sexuality. I wanted to learn more about it, talk about it (which was quite taboo in my Chinese household), study it, write about it, and even watch it. I am not exactly sure from where this desire to explore sexuality originated, I just knew that from an early age (even before I immigrated to the US from China) I gravitated towards this subject.

“After I graduated from college, as a result of my curiosity I began a once-in-a-lifetime adventure working as a live-in writer at an enormous sexuality institute in Los Angeles, California. The institute was owned and operated by a woman who dedicated her life to sex education and sex therapy.

“She hosted an online-streamed show every weekend whereby she interviewed an eclectic selection of guests from adult performers to sex researchers, erotic artists to writers, and basically anyone who has contributed or worked in some way that relates to human sexuality. There would be stimulating discussions and orgiastic revelries taking place on the same nights.

“During my time there, I was always more of an observer than participant but I found the whole experience enriching to the core. Bohemian, unconventional, exotic are only a FEW of the words to describe my time working and living there. I had a curiosity and it was satisfied and then some.”

Can you imagine being able to be a part of that? Anyway, back to Miss Zhang:

“Of course some of the visitors where folks in the BDSM community—lifestyle as well as the profession. It was eye-opening for me to see such raw, emotional energy exchanged amongst people whose sexual energy originated from the mind rather than the loins. There was an elevated hedonism to the BDSM scenes I witnessed.

“I remember a poignant moment in which I saw a man inflict intense pain on a woman, grab her by the neck, and whisper something in her ear that made her cry and completely surrender to the bliss of the moment—body and soul. Up until that point I had a few “traditional relationships” involving “traditional sex” but when I witnessed that couple I realized that there is a whole new level of mental intimacy that can be shared between two people, wherein vulnerability is shared and one can be stripped of one’s outer shell. I wanted more than what I had. I wanted to connect with people on that level, and I wanted someone to strip me raw and vice versa.”

That stripping raw which Miss Zhang talks about is something important you’ll want to keep in the back of your mind. We’ll get into that more shortly. First, we need to find out what happened to Miss Zhang after she moved on from there.

“My time at the sexuality institute ran its course and I moved on after 18 months to a meaningless job as a public relations manager at sex toy manufacturing company. While my work environment was surrounded by friendly coworkers, dildos of all sizes, and the occasional company outing, I was miserable. I did not want to sit in front of a desk for 8 hours a day, watching my life speeding by as I stared at a screen, laboring for someone else’s dream.

“It was then that I was contacted by an author whom I befriended during my time at the sexuality institute while he attended one of the weekend shows as an interview guest. He wrote a massively popular book about the myths of monogamy and its institutionalized virtues and it had an impact on me in terms of how I had been “doing relationships” (for his privacy I will forgo mentioning his name and book).

“He happened to be passing through Los Angeles and invited me to dinner and it was during our evening together that he mentioned recently meeting a professional dominatrix and how he’d be glad to introduce me to her for mentorship. It took me by surprise as I had not mentioned any interest in kink to him, but out of curiosity (as always!) I contacted her, met her, observed some of her sessions, started learning about kink on my own, and the rest is history.”

Interesting backstory, right? Another thing I found interesting (and impressive) was Miss Zhang’s breadth and depth of knowledge. Indeed, after only reading a few of her articles on her site (which I’ll give you at the end of this article), you begin to get an immediate sense of how well-read she is. I like that in a woman, which is part of the reason why the wide array of authors and playwrights she references in her articles had me impressed—not in a condescending way though, but rather in an admirable way. I’m a bit of a bibliophile/nerd so I always love to meet and befriend people whose passions and interests resonate with my own.

1 Comment

  • Howard Barks

    Reply Reply June 4, 2018

    This interview was most stimulating. I wish she was close to my home so I could get to know her better. It seems to me women have an edge on this activity. It makes me want to submit.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field