Every year, millions of people subject themselves to—nay, seek out—experiences that evoke all sorts of “negative” emotions such as fear, shock/horror, sorrow, loss, longing, anger, etc. We get these experiences through books, TV shows, movies, video games, real life simulated-events, thrill seeking events, gambling, the list goes on. (Google type T personality if you want to know more about more what types of people take this behavior to the extreme.)
Now, there are many theories as to why people do this, but instead of dissecting and debating those theories, I’d rather focus on the one truth about them that no one would deny. During these explorations, be they based in this reality or an imagined one, you get an intoxicatingly dizzying surge of physiological hormones in your body and neurotransmitters in your brain that rip you right out of whatever headspace you might be in and bring your full, undivided attention to the present sensations you feel. Indeed, you’re totally present in that moment, feeling something different, something poignant, something new, something…dare I say real?
And the “more real” it feels the better. Women don’t prefer Lifetime movies where they can’t identify with or truly feel for the characters right? Men don’t like action movies where the characters aren’t experiencing a true struggle against their foe(s). People enjoy stories that seize their empathy, tap into it, make them feel the journey of the characters or the roller-coaster of the story.
In some instances, the “more real” it is, the better. Haunted House amusement park rides aren’t nearly as sought out by Halloween lovers as taking a haunted tour of an old abandoned prison where paid actors and actresses really make you think you might be in danger. Heck, did you know you can even order your own “designer kidnapping” where you’re abducted, tied, gagged, and locked away for as long as you paid?
Not to mention that the extremeness of the experiences we seek out and the height/depth of the feelings they produce also fall under the motto “the more the better”. That’s why if you’re a thrill seeker, jumping out of an airplane isn’t comparable to riding on a roller-coaster.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your run-of-the-mill average person is out there jumping out of planes or arranging their own kidnapping every other week in between bouts of bingeing Spike Network movies and putting it all on black (or red) at the casino.
After all, this desire we have to experience the full range of human experience, particularly the “negative” end of that spectrum, exists itself on a spectrum. On one end are people who enjoy emotionally evocative movies and Halloween. On the other end are those who seek out the extreme (type T personalities, you could say). The point is, we all have these desires to a certain extent. Here’s the penultimate point though….
These experiences all have one thing in common and that can be found at the moment when its all over…the part of the experience where you breathe a sigh of relief, where you feel a gratitude that the experience has concluded. Not because you didn’t like it though, but rather because you’re back in your life real-life and everything is ok. You’re safe, relieved, happy, grateful. Your real life reclaims you / you reclaim your real life, and you’re glad to do so—at least for the most part.
You got to experience something you otherwise wouldn’t have all in the confines of / safety of [insert parameters here], and you reclaim / are reclaimed by yourself, your life…and all is well. At least for a short time until you want to do it all over again—perhaps even with a different ending this time, maybe a “bad” ending? But that’s the subject of another article altogether.
I say all of that to say this: as you think now about that notion of reclamation, I wonder what kinds of connections you’ll start to make (or perhaps have already made) between the desires people have to experience any of the abovementioned things, and the desire they have to experience cuckolding.
Self-exploration and self-understanding are fun journeys. As you explore and seek to understand your own cuckolding desires on ever deeper levels, never forget there are always a different ways to look at and approach something—in this case, that something being a part of yourself.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below!
Disclaimers: 1) this article is geared towards and applies more to men who desire to experience cuckolding; 2) this isn’t meant to be some sort of holistic, all-encompassing etiological explain of cuckolding desires; 3) the above won’t apply to everyone who has cuckolding desires. Keep those three things in mind.