Cuckold Angst

Cuckold Angst, Pt. 1 4.8/5 (13)

Almost no one would say that it’s abnormal to want to be happy. Indeed, for many people, the pursuit of happiness is a worthwhile one. But curiously enough, happiness isn’t the only emotion we want to experience.

As humans, we also actively pursue feeling other emotions such as fear, surprise, anticipation, sadness even (just think of all the people who enjoy watching sad movies). We seek to experience these emotions in all kinds of ways from drugs to roller coasters and from gambling to haunted house experiences.

The fact is whether we’re aware of it or not, we all desire to feel the full spectrum of human emotions as evidenced by our pursuits and the activities we engage in. And when I say the full spectrum of human emotions, I mean the full spectrum which includes the dark side composite of emotions like dominance, humiliation, shame, regret, anger, inadequacy, lust, angst, etc.

Now, if you’re curious at heart like me, you’d naturally ask why anyone in their right mind would want to feel something “dark”, “bad”, or “negative”. The answer you would get though would depend on whom you asked that question to.

It would therefore make sense to ask as many people as you can to get as many different perspectives as you can, so one day, when you go back and analyze and meta-analyze all the different perspectives, you might begin to see patterns and meta-patterns which might spark the beginnings of the synthesizing of a cohesive and comprehensive theory of sorts.

I’m actually in the process of all that regarding the phenomenon of the desire to experience what so many men out there refer to as cuckold angst.

It’s not that I don’t experientially know what cuckold angst is or feels like, nor is it that I don’t intellectually understand it. Rather, I want to understand it on the deepest and most fundamental level possible which for me means I want to know how a fundamentally non-erotic emotion such as angst can be sexualized and experienced as erotic.


Angst Erection

Now, when it comes to understanding the psychology of human emotion, do you know who some of the best “natural psychologists” are? Writers. People who write books and movies, screenplay and stories. Some of these people have such a masterful and intuitive understanding of the psychology of human emotion and can provide you with some of the most interesting insights into human behavior than even the most knowledgeable of trained and educated professional psychologists out there can.

Anyway, I came across a female erotica author who goes by the name Becca Bellamy. She wrote a book that touches on that thin line that separates taking things too far from having fun in a safe way while exploring a cuckold relationship. I decided to reach out to her and ask her a few questions to get her perspective on cuckold angst.

More specifically, I asked her why she thought that men who genuinely don’t want the end result of their cuckold relationship to be that their wife actually leaves them find the idea of their wives developing an intimate connection with a lover appealing.

I mean this is about as close to playing with fire as you can get when it comes to relationships right? To be clear, I was asking her perspective on if cuckolds don’t want their wives to leave them, what is it that they do want to feel deep down?

Becca’s response was interesting. She said, “A man that’s aroused by being cuckolded is ultimately aroused by the idea of being forced to confront his inadequacy as a husband and/or man. It’s also why cuckolding is such a difficult fantasy to embrace for so many people and why it can rarely be practiced without the man experiencing some sort of angst…While no man gets into cuckolding hoping his marriage will end in divorce, that result would also be the ultimate confirmation of his inadequacy, and thus it can be an arousing idea. Most cuckolds (or wannabe cuckolds) don’t actually want it to go that far because the destruction of the marriage simply isn’t worth the temporary erotic high, but there is often pleasure to be found in their wives developing an intimate connection that goes just a little bit beyond what seems safe.”

“There’s a thrill to be found in the taboo nature of a married woman developing that kind of connection with another man, too. Sometimes bending societal rules can be exceptionally thrilling, and the bonds of marriage are supposed to be sacred (though obviously a huge percentage of people cheat regularly).”

Whether we’re talking about the experiences of confronting inadequacy or breaking the sacred bonds of marriage though, both via cuckolding, these explanations (and others) have something in common. They all involve the experience of feeling a certain auxiliary emotion(s) before or during sexual arousal. Furthermore, on some level, the person enjoys feeling whatever that emotion(s) is (otherwise they wouldn’t be seeking out experiences which produce that emotion in them).

All this tells us one simple thing: it’s the simultaneous experience of two or more different emotions before or during sexual arousal which is responsible for taking the cuckold’s sexual arousal to intoxicatingly high heights.


At it’s core when you think about it, it’s really no different than how make-up, break-up, or angry sex can be some of the hottest sex you ever have. The only thing that’s really different with those kinds of sex though are the potent and raw emotions which accompany the sex itself. In other words, physical stimulation can only be so pleasurable. It’s actually psychological stimulation which takes the physical pleasure experienced during physical stimulation to new levels. It can therefore be said that experiencing another kind of emotion while experiencing sexual pleasure synergistically amplifies that sexual pleasure.


  • D

    Reply Reply June 28, 2018

    Great post. Interesting to explore a man’s inadequacy and how that combines with him wanting to please his wife. Interesting also how a woman handles that power. A great opportunity for many more articles!

  • Nico Ruth

    Reply Reply July 24, 2018

    Very interesting, what aroused me as a cuckold is that my wife get to felt in love w her bull, Eva have felt in love w 2 men since we married, the first relationship ended after 8 years because he was married, (we did not know) so when Eva found out she ended it. It was heart braking for her, the second one lasted 4 years, it ended because the guy got scarred for what he was feeling, I never really felt our marriage to be in danger, mostly because I know for a fact that the relationship we have no other man can give to her. Still the mix of emotions I experience while she is in this type of relationship is what I think makes me a real cuckold. Is totally different than when she has sex with my friends or other guys just for pleasure. I find more thrilling and erotic when she is making love to a another man she has feeling for than when she is just enjoying sex other men. Currently she have found a new guy, they have feelings for each other, and it soon will turn in to something more serious, I think they will felt in love. And once more I am starting to feel the mix emotions I had B4. What can I say, I am a cuckold and I love it.

  • Dru

    Reply Reply July 15, 2019

    Nice article

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