Stag Vixen Cuckold Hotwife Lifestyle

Are You A Stag Cuckold? 5/5 (47)

Before I help you answer this question, I want to make it clear that I’m not one of those label-nazis who like to go around arrogantly correcting people when it comes to the terms they use to label their extra-marital arrangements/relationships. So why the article?

Because the word cuckold has undergone some serious denigration recently by society. That denigration in turn is causing men who desire their women to sleep with someone else to think two things:

  1. They’re a traditional cuckold.
  2. Their desire is inherently or necessarily shameful, inappropriate, weak, effeminate, beta, etc.

It is true that some men who consider themselves cuckolds or wannabe cuckolds as it were have an affinity for experiencing shades of humiliation, submissiveness, jealousy, denial, etc. It’s even true that experiencing such feelings in certain cuckold relationship arrangements with sexual power differentials incites a sense of masochistic shame in the man, which in its own way can be perversely sexually arousing.

But not all men who desire their wife to sleep with others have these tendencies or desires. (Note: there is absolutely nothing wrong, abnormal, or unhealthy with those kinds of desires. Society’s ignorance and judgmentalness prevents it from understanding that.)

You see, the arousal and desire for your woman to sleep with another man spans a long spectrum. On that spectrum are varying fantasy types, labels, desires, and expressions of it. And there’s an entire part of that spectrum on which fantasy types and expressions rooted in empowerment for both genders (en contra to fantasy types that create sexual power differentials) have their home.

To help us navigate and explore that part of the spectrum is a very special guest: the creator of the erotic, entertaining, and educational Tumblr “Stag & Vixen Hotwife Games” who goes by the name J. The following information is a synthesis of J’s perspective and knowledge as well as my own, and we’re certain that you’ll find it useful.

Let’s start by talking about the term Stag.


I Thought A Stag Was Just A Word For A Male Deer?

Stag Cuckold

A Stag is a word to describe a straight man that shares his wife or girlfriend sexually with other men and derives his pleasure solely from watching her arousal. This arrangement, called Stag Hotwifing, typically occurs in one or more of the following ways:

  1. By bringing another man/men to pleasure the wife or girlfriend, where the Stag can either actively join in and participate, or passively watch as a voyeur
  2. As the Stag overtly or covertly watches or listens to her play with the other men
  3. As the wife or girlfriend recounts the details of her adventures with other men to the Stag after the fact.

Unlike certain cuckolding arrangements, Stag Hotwifing involves no humiliation, cruelty, or attempted displays of dominance by the other men towards the Stag. A Stag is confident and secure enough to share his woman without sacrificing his masculinity. Ipso facto, stags are not submissive. In fact, they are often dominant themselves.

Unlike certain cuckolding arrangements, there are no creampie cleanups. It should also be noted that Stag Hotwifing is race free, without any special proclivities regarding men of other races. Anyone can be a third party, or bull.

Stag Hotwifing involves a great degree of respect for all parties. If there is any “serving”, it’s done by the bull. A Stag doesn’t desire to see his woman “used” by another man. He just occasionally enjoys watching his woman experience passion and pleasure in new and exciting ways. It often makes him desire her more.

Reclaiming is a very central to Stag Hotwifing. The vixen belongs to the Stag and to the Stag only. She can only be “borrowed” at best by a third party.

Exploring and enjoying Stag Hotwifing is seen as enjoying/exploring fun and games. The main relationship is the priority, and nothing about Stag Hotwifing is taken too seriously. A Stag does not seek out other women in return, and is simply focused on his own woman’s pleasure, and the pleasure he gets from seeing/experiencing her pleasure.


  • Shag Well

    Reply Reply May 23, 2017

    Very well written. Thank you. I’d like to comment that we prefer to consider our relationship stag/Vixen in as much as we enjoy the sharing aspects. My Vixen and I get nothing out of any humiliation aspects. At the same time, we do also enjoy cross dressing, submissive and bisexual elements but again only in a non-humiliating manner. These elements are often associated with a more traditional cuckold lifestyle. In our case, we feel the lack of humiliation aspects still leaves us in the Stag/Vixen realm.

  • Eddie

    Reply Reply June 30, 2017

    This is so dead on ! Very well written. I am a “stag”. I am not in any shape or form to be humiliated. But the true love I have for my wife is the option of “allowing” her to be with other guys. And often watching or participating. What a great article you have written. I try to research my fantasies to make sure that my feelings are of somewhat normal. And this article sums it up. It is not a abnormal fantasy. Thank you.

  • Bobo

    Reply Reply August 12, 2017

    So may labels these day’s it tough to keep up…some couples whose males enjoy watching her being pleasured by another man also enjoy watching her with another female not to mention mfm threesomes, fmf threesomes and her watching him play with another female as well, so what sort of label should we put on those groups?

    • Dr. 36

      Reply Reply August 13, 2017

      Good question!

      It seems like you’re asking what label to apply to a couple who explores multiple arrangements. In a sense though, it’s kind of like asking, “What label do you give to a baseball pitcher who also plays second base sometimes?” Is he a pitcher, a second baseman, or should we call him something entirely different?

      Well, just like there is no “official” label or term to call a pitcher who also plays second base from time to time, there’s also no official label or term to call a couple who explores multiple arrangements. The most we could say (about the pitcher and the couple) is that what you’d call them would depend on what they’re doing at the time.

      Baseball analogies aside, the alternative lifestyle communities still have a ways to go when it comes to both inter-and-intra-communiity agreement regarding official “alternative relationship arrangement” jargon. And consensus among the majority is really the best way to “officialize” such jargon, and that will take some time. Even then though, that doesn’t make the consensus “right”; it just means there’s a consensus and that’s what’s been agreed upon for the time being.

      That’s why at the end of day, I always make sure I tell everyone not get too caught up in the labels, as the labels themselves are constructs that the communities create. And these constructs don’t carry any weight beyond the weight that we ourselves give them at the time. (Note: I’m not saying that you asking this means you’re too caught up in labels; it’s just a generalized disclaimer for anyone reading this).

      And besides, what matters most isn’t the label you choose to put on whatever sexual hijinx you happen to be getting up to, but rather how much darn fun it can be.

      Am I right?
      franco gif

  • Lexico

    Reply Reply April 28, 2018

    This being said, this may feel like new ground to those who are just developing their sexuality, but as the saying goes ‘there is nothing new under the sun’.

    ‘wittol’ is the word that applies, in the English language, to one who is aware of his spouse’s activities.

    Another issue is that stag horns relate cuckolding due to the observations of the mating habits of male deer, which forcibly remove the mate of a weaker male.

    I am not sure how one could make a claim with regard to sex positivity / cuckoldry, and stags in the face of this indelible historic connotation.

    • Brian

      Reply Reply March 9, 2019

      The stag horns do not relate to cuckolding. The stag is the husband. So the stag horn and the connotation of stag is that the husband is the one who takes his wife back from the weaker male. This occurs through the process of reclaiming following the sharing. So being a stag is literally the opposite of cuckolding as the reclaiming process involves the stag husband asserting his superiority.

      Also- great article.

      • Paul

        Reply Reply June 6, 2019

        Brian, this is an excellent description of how I relate to this fantasy. Thank you

  • Tom

    Reply Reply June 27, 2018

    Hi,a truly good read and it has helped me come to terms with where I am in all this – although there are still grey areas (in my opinion).
    For instance, I share my (now) wife with one person only – one of my best friends – and have done so for a very long time. I love watching the 2 of them together and class myself as an equal partner in it all. Having said that I also enjoy pleasuring him which she enjoys watching. I do this freely and not under any obligation from anyone present and there are occasions when I will take a back seat and let them dictate the course of things. I have also on occasion inserted him inside her – again from my own free will and under no directive – and held her while he has taken her so despite being totally alpha I do let myself adopt (through my own free will) a beta role on occasion. I guess I’m getting the best of both roles.
    I wasn’t sure what was my definition was but I think now that I’m definitely a stag, just with a little bit of cuckold thrown into the mix.

    Would welcome any private comments on this, feel free to contact me at [email protected].

    Thanks guys

  • thunderbird

    Reply Reply August 2, 2018

    A really good article.this is the first time i have seen this even though this type of relationship exists and is what i want. i think it will help my discussions with my wife who is close to taking the step to be a hotwife. a vixen hotwife.

  • Dennis

    Reply Reply August 11, 2018

    This is what I am interested in. I have been confused about this whole cuck thing because it seems like anyone that wants to share their wife and watch is considered a cuck. I am not into humiliation at all but I would really enjoy watching her get pleasured and then take my turn after. I don’t have any hang ups about sliding into her cum filled pussy in fact it’s hot as hell to me. I have talked to her about it and thought she was onboard at one time but she later backed out. In time, I will enjoy this with her I am sure..

  • openinoc

    Reply Reply October 18, 2018

    I would take issue only with “there are no creampie cleanups”. I don’t know that that’s accurate. Actually, let me rephrase that. I know that is not accurate.

    More accurate would be, “Forced creampie cleanups with the intent to humiliate the Stag are not part of the arrangements, though there are Stags that do simply for the erotic nature of the act.”

  • SayOy

    Reply Reply January 24, 2019

    I am not huge on labels but I have to say I like this one. I’ve been struggling with the definition of cuck and really wanted something better than Alpha cuck. I tend to respect people. I am trying to learn humiliation play because a sub requested it, but really don’t want to assume it when discussing someone sharing his wife. This gives me a term to use and to look for to help identify a relationship. As with anything I would expect some gradations but it is a great starting point.

  • Alpha_Viking_9

    Reply Reply February 23, 2019

    I feel like my desire is more Dom/Sub shared wife than anything else. I wamt and NEED it to be all about her. The center of attention and pleasure. But, ot is for me to decide who, when, where, how, what she wears, does or has done to her, collar or specific jewelry or whatever. I decide everything. And she submits to Daddy.
    But its my goal to push every boundary and button all to make her heart race and her cum harder each time or in new ways.

  • Kreme pie

    Reply Reply May 21, 2019

    I am glad to read this more accurate description of what category I fit in with regards to the whole sexual spectrum of leaning to cuckoldry.
    Most of cuck porn is centered around there being a black bull and involves some form of humiliation for the cuck. That’s not my interest. If my gf was to take a lover I wouldn’t be concerned one way or the other about race. I do however want him to be bigger than me and it I a must that he satisfy her very well.
    I prefer that my gf meet with her lover and come back to me to tell me how good it was for her…how much pleasure she had with a bigger cock.

    But, contrary to the idea that Stags aren’t interested in licking a fresh cream pie; that’s not me. I would gladly enjoy that treat, but rather than having the bull present or the gf/wife demeaning me for wanting to feed on her cum filled pussy, I want my gf to take pleasure from my tongue after having been fucked but without feeling a need to demean me for my desires. I would want everyone to have respect for each other within the triangle of lovers.

    I think most people don’t fit neatly into a certain box. I suppose I am mainly a Stag with some cuck interests.

    It was nice to read that someone acknowledges there is wide variation within the cuck spectrum. Thanks!!

  • Glass Topp

    Reply Reply May 27, 2019

    I let my wife suck cock while I nail her from behind , I let her suck him for about five minutes on her knees. Then join in… She especially likes big cocks and Mexicans. Lol… So if you’re in Portland ore…..

  • Ty

    Reply Reply June 29, 2019

    Thank you for this knowledge. As a younger memeber of society the whole cuck denigration is very prevalent in my generation. I’ve been confused as to why people act like i can’t be a cuck and a bull at the same time, but without the humiliation because im very dominant. Apparently im a stag, I’ll take it.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field